Welcome to Sad Salvation. Day by day by day by day ... this is my attempt to make sense of the world.

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Friday, December 29, 2006

Warminster, PA

Warminster
Originally uploaded by earthdog.

I grew up in a suburban Philadelphia township, Warminster. My family is still there. I end up going back from time to time. I enjoyed growing up in Warminster. I had friends and it was the kind of place where my parents were not to afraid to let a child go around on neighborhood on his own. Some of the best times where when I was on my bike just exploring.

My friend Bill told me to take lots of Photos of Warminster on this trip. He and I went to high school together. We wasting much of our youth driving around Warminster in his blue van, The Bag-O-Donuts mobile, looking for adventure. Bill said he wanted me to take photos of Warminster so he could remember the place.

The thing about Warminster is that I cannot think of photograph that can sum it up. I cannot think of a shot in the town where I can say, "That Is Warminster." I might be missing something, but it is very hard for me to take photos of Warminster.

There are not many photos of Warminster on flickr, If you search for Warminster you will see mostly photos from the UK and the town my town was named after. It is like there is little out doors in Warminster worth taking photos of.

I wanted to take photos of Christmas lights when I went home this year. I just did not find the time. Maybe the next time I go home I should take photos of all the places in Warminster that were important to me.

Labels: billoneill, flickrpost, photos, vacation, warminster, warminster PA

- Rich, 4:50 PM

Monday, December 18, 2006

Back in the old Hometown

Mom
Originally uploaded by earthdog.

I am back in Warminster, PA. It is a midsized suburb about an hour north of Downtown Philadelphia. I am back sleeping in the house I grew up in. That is always a little strange.

I feel a connection to my parent's house, but I know it is not my place. There are things that change and things that stay the same. I know that I lived in my parents house a little too long. I was 26 by the time I moved out. I did not move out until I could get clear of the whole area. I looked at moving out before that, but when I decided to move out west I knew just getting out of the house would delay the greater move.

The whole area feels a little like the house I grew up in. I still feel a connection and love for this place, but it is not my place. I know my family would like me to move back. I feel a little jealous of them. I have to travel so far to see them and they are all around here. It would be nice to see them more often.

I know if I moved back here I would have to start all over again. It has been more than 8 years now. I could not just walk back into my old life. That time has passed. I am not the same person and neither are my old friends. If I moved back here I would have to put together a whole new life for me. I have some building blocks already in place, but it does not mean it would be easy.

I will try to write while I am here, but being home takes up so much of my mental space, it is hard to stop and find time to blog. I have not started my Christmas shopping yet. I need to get on that.

Labels: Christmas, flickrpost, mom, vacation, warminster, warminster PA

- Rich, 10:48 AM

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Warminster and San Jose

I have been thinking about place a lot lately. On Saturday one of my sisters asked if I was ever planning to move back to the area. The first thing out of my Mother's mouth was "he does not want to live here." Up to this point of the day I had been talking to my mother about my life and my friends in San Jose. This must have been the impression she got from me. The conversation changed to another topic quickly, but that comment stuck in my head.

Last night a friend asked me if I would move back. I know she wants me to move back. She said that when she got back to Philly, she missed some of her old friends. She keeps on telling me that she would love to see me move back to Philadelphia. I told here there are three things she could do to get me to move back to Philadelphia.

1. Find me a job that I cannot refuse.
2. Set me up a woman for me to fall in love with.
3. Give me the winning lottery numbers.

There is a very high standard for number one. I really like my company. I worry that I would not be able to find a job I like in Philadelphia. I know that I never had a job as good as my job now when I lived back here. That was more then six years ago.

I think that number 3 might be easier then number 2. My friend did not say that she would be up to any of the three. I am not holding my breath.

I know I have lots of friends who have plans to escape Silicon Valley. They talk that they want to live someplace else. There are things about Silicon Valley, like the housing market, that drive my friends crazy. I have said for a long time that once my friends start leaving San Jose I might have to think about my plans.

Right now I do not know what I feel about here v. there. There is something I just love about Philadelphia. My family is here, I still have friends here, and the area is special to me. The problem is that the area might be special because I do not live here all the time.

On the other hand I like the life I have build for myself in San Jose. I work for a company I love. I have a nice circle of friends. I have met lots of new people out there. It might not be perfect, but it is something I build. That means something to me.

I am not sure how these ideas change with my father being sick. I do not know how things change going forward with his recovery. I am not sure if the draw of my family will grow because of that. I guess I will find out as time passes.

Labels: life, philadelphia, relationship, San Jose, self, tag overload, warminster PA, work

- Rich, 1:06 AM

Saturday, June 08, 2002

Summing it all up

In the air somewhere over America.

After every trip home, I have to ask myself the same questions. I have always enjoyed my trips home. I would not say that any of them have been a waste. This time I came back 29 and I am leaving 30. Warminster was a good place to celebrate my birthday. I knew there were people around for me to celebrate with. I knew my family would be there for me.

I feel when I go home that I do not have enough time there and I spend too much time there all at the same time. I feel I would like to spend more time with everyone. I would like to see everyone a couple of times before I have to leave. I also feel that I would rather my trips be quicker. The quicker the trip, the less work I have to do and the more people are willing to fit into my time frame.

I still love that area. I still have a draw in my heart to move back there. I would love to see my family more often. I would love to be part of my nephew Charlie's young life. I still have friends there. I feel that I could have current friendships with those friends that would not just be based on the past.

My question is, where am I going to work if I go back there? Will I be able to find a company I like as much as TiVo? Will I be able to find opportunities to succeed like I have in San Jose. How will I feel if I have to settle for a job I cannot stand? Why am I so unsure about getting a job I like?

What does it mean that I am willing trade off work for family? Why must it be a one or the other choice? What am I getting and what am I giving up? These are the questions that I will be thinking about a lot in the next few months.

I feel like I cannot go back yet. I feel there are still things I need to do in San Jose. I feel that I need to figure things out about what my life means and where it is going. I need to know these things before I move back to the Philadelphia area. I do not know these things I have the feeling I will be swallowed up but the people I know.

Labels: family, self, travel, warminster, warminster PA, work

- Rich, 4:58 PM

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

What it means to say Warminster, Pennsylvania

Drove around with Dad doing chores.

Lunch with Dad.

Nothing better then a Philly Cheesesteak.

Relaxed in the afternoon.

Hung out with the family before dinner.

Played blocks with Charlie.

caught up with Michele.

Turkey and Corn on the cob for dinner.

I think Corn on the Cob is my Favorite food.

The night ended with cake.

I told my mother I came home because no one has baked me a cake since I moved out west. She said she was happy to bake a cake for me. It was great to have dinner with my family. The big dinner is always my favorite parts of the trip home. I love being able to interact with everyone. I love seeing everyone just be together.

Labels: tag overload, travel, travel notes, warminster, warminster PA

- Rich, 9:09 PM

Tuesday, June 04, 2002

Tuesday

Today I had lunch with my sister Kathy today. I like the closeness I have with Kathy. I have a different relationship with each of my sisters. Kathy is the one I connect with most of the time. We spent a good time talking about her work and the law. The law fascinates me, in the way complex real world idea fascinate me. I like knowing things about the law, but I would never want to be involved with it.

After lunch I found a record store in Ambler. There used to be a really good one there, but it must have closed a while ago. The store I wet too had almost all used CDs. They were a lot of CDs that I used to own when I was in college. I could have bought a hundred of them, but I tried to limit myself to a few. I should take my chance to use the good CD stores in the area while I am home.

In the afternoon I went over to Ruth and Joe's house. I wanted a chance to see Charlie, Ruth, and Joe without other people around. I am never going to bond with Charlie if everyone else is always around. When I got there Charlie, Ruth and I played on their front porch. I will admit that I know nothing about toddlers. Charlie seems well behaved most of the time. We had to watch what we did in front of him and make sure we did not laugh when he did anything bad. I think that might be the hardest thing about discipline kids. Sometimes they do really bad things, but you just want to laugh a lot.

Later Dot stopped by. Dot and I took Charlie to the park so Ruth could get dinner started. I could tell that Charlie was starting to trust me. He was letting me take him in and out of the stroller. By the end of the trip to the park, Charlie was even asking me to take his hand. I could understand why I might scare him. It was nice that it did not take that long for him to warm up to me, but it did take a lot of work. After the park Ruth, Joe, Charlie and I had dinner. I stayed a while after dinner. Long enough that there was some time for Ruth and I to talk. If I did not go over to her house, we would have never had the chance to talk.

One of the reasons I would like to be closer to home is that I would like to be part of Charlie's Life. I am not going to be close to him if I am living on the west coast. I think he would not be afraid of me if I lived closer now. It is one of the pulls back to the east coast. I know there are a lot more things that I have to work on before I can move back there.

Labels: ambler PA, charile, dot, family, Joe, kathy, Ruth, travel, travel notes, vacation, warminster, warminster PA

- Rich, 11:55 PM

Wednesday, December 19, 2001

Going Home

Tomorrow, maybe today by the time I am done writing this post, I will be traveling back to my hometown Warminster, Pennsylvania. I have been looking forward to this trip for a long time. I have not seen my family at all this year. This is my only chance to see them for a while. I am not person that needs to be close to my family all the time, but I miss them now. There are a lot of things I feel left out on since I live on the other side of the country. There are a lot of things I wish I could be home for.

This year I have had a couple bouts of homesickness. There are times when I have missed my family, Philadelphia, and the East Coast. Either one of two things will happen. The first thing that could happen, what happened Christmas 1999, I can be reminded why I moved away in the first place. There is an old saying that nothing cures a bout of homesickness like a trip home. When you are homesick you forget all those little things you do not like about the area. You can only see the sweet things.

The second thing that could happen is that I might go home and decide I really want to move back. This idea really scares me. I do not feel that I am ready to move back yet. I do not feel that I am finished at my job yet. If I feel that moving back is a good idea, I do not know what I am going to do with my job. It is a scary idea because I would have to another leap. I am not sure my life is in the right place to take this kind of leap.

It will be good to get away from my job for a few days. It will also be good to get away from San Jose. The best thing about going home is that I have few responsibilities. I can go chill, slug, and hang. Everyone else will take care of everything. People do not care about what work I have to do for them. I do not have to put up with the job. It is going to be a good thing. Right now I only wish I would be home for more days.

Labels: San Jose, warminster, warminster PA

- Rich, 11:57 PM

Home for Christmas

Tomorrow I am leaving to go home for Christmas. Today I am just filled with energy. I cannot focus on anything. I just want to go, go, go. It is a hard way to be at work.

Labels: Christmas, vacation, warminster PA, work

- Rich, 2:29 PM

Tuesday, December 11, 2001

Christmas Is Too Close

Christmas Is too close and I have too many things to do. I am going back to my hometown, Warminster PA, for Christmas this year. I feel like I have a lot of things to do before I go back. Too often I wait for the last minute before I do these things. I let way to many things go to the last minute.

I never feel ready for Christmas. It is always just a few days away in December. I think it is because I really do not get in the Christmas spirit. I do not do anything to get myself in the Christmas Spirit. I do not do any Christmas Crafts, decorate my apartment, or have Christmas parties. Maybe that is why I am having these feelings.

Labels: Christmas, family, self, warminster, warminster PA

- Rich, 11:05 PM

Thursday, November 08, 2001

Portland Day

Welcome to Portland Day! It was three years ago that I arrived in Portland. It was my big move from Philadelphia to the West Coast. The trip took me eight days with a couple stops along the way. When I got to Portland I went to Riverfront Park and threw my key chain in the river. I took my keys car keys off it first. My parent's house keys are somewhere at the bottom of the Willamette River. I confider Portland Day to be my own private holiday.

I am a person who thinks it is important to celebrate anniversary's. It is a good way to remind ourselves how quickly time passes. I think that we miss the passage of time if we are careful. I am always amazed at swiftly the world around me changes. From my point of view it seems like nothing changes. I need to slow down and look around to see those changes.

It is hard for me to tell the people around me here in Silicon Valley why today is important to me. It was a huge jump when I moved to Portland. I was moving to a city where I did not know anyone, did not have a job, and did not have a place to stay. I was just going to take a chance that I would be able to find something. I was shedding all the comforts of Warminster to look for adventure.

The people that know me now did not know me then. When I was still in Warminster my life was going nowhere. I was working a job I hated. I was working for a company that offered me no future. All of my really close friends had already moved on to other cities. There was nothing tying me to that area anymore. I knew that I had to leave that town.

I packed up everything that I owned and moved to the West Coast. It is now three years later and I am still here. I can say that the move was successful. I was able to find a job. I found jobs that I could build one on top of another. I have been able to build some kind of life. It is not the live that I pictured in my dreams, but it is not my worst nightmares either.

For the last couple of days I have been e-mailing some of the people I knew in Portland. One of them told me I should move back there. There is something about Portland that still holds a place in my heart. I often find myself missing that city. I miss the things I could do while I was there. I miss the things I could do with my time and the places I could go.

If I had to move back to Philadelphia, I would not be defeated. My tail would not be between my legs as I made my way back. Part of me would like to find a way to really move back Philadelphia. I miss my family and friends. I miss a lot of little things about the area.

I do not know where I will be this time next year. I might be here in San Jose in the same job, in the same apartment I sit in right now. I might have fled San Jose for another city. I might be back in Philadelphia trying to figure out the next direction my life might take. The world is still a wide open place. I can only guess what the next year has for me.

Labels: move, philadelphia, Portland, warminster, warminster PA, west coast

- Rich, 9:04 PM

Monday, October 29, 2001

November is usually a big month for me

For the last couple of years November has been a big month for me. Things in my life seem to change in the fall. The things do not always happen in November, but they happen around November. Here is the list going back a few years.

2000 Moved to a new apartment
1999 Moved from Portland to San Jose
1998 Moved from Warminster to Portland
1997 My Brother Matthew passed away
1996 I lost my job at the Navy base and started working at Ficomp

I know there is a chance that something big might happen to me soon. Today we found out that the Vice President of my department resigned. This is the last thing in the world that I expected. There are a lot of different things that this might mean. I might be totally over reacting. I might be hitting right on the head. There is a vibe that my world might be changing. I just wonder how my life is going to change.

Labels: Matthew, november, past, Portland, San Jose, self, warminster PA

- Rich, 11:11 PM

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