A friend of mine got laid off this week. This scares me a lot. For the last few months I have been thinking that most of the layoffs in Silicon Valley are over. At most companies there are no more people to cut. I was thinking that all I needed to worry about was my company surviving. If my company did not make it, other companies would be hiring by the time I was looking.
I am not ready to be unemployed. I am not good at the simple things like saving money. I would have to work really hard to find another job. Including the recent events at WorldCom, Global Crossing, and Enron, I wonder if anyone in the valley is going to be tagged with this kind of problem. If that happens, it will be bad times around here. If I have to go without a job for too long, I will be heading somewhere to live with someone else.
I think I can weather the storm. The valley will be an ugly place if there is another round of layoffs. It is not too bad right now, but I think most of the gold rushers have already left. If another bad round hits, people will be sleeping on the streets soon.
I got into work today and this article about layoffs was on the front page of MSN. It seems very appropriate. We had a "force reduction" today in the call center. It is not really a new layoff. We knew it was coming. It is a delayed action from the last layoff. It was no surprise to people when it happened. We let go of eight people. I think that only one of them was surprised they were let go on this cut.
One of the people was the guy who had been working with the call center the longest. He was there when the call center opened. Now I am the person that has been with customer support the longest. I arrived in Sept '99. There is only one other person left in the call center who was hired in 1999. I am always impressed when I think about the people who I have lasted longer then.
On days like this I have to think. I knew that I would not be laid off today, but I still had a plan for what I would do if I were laid off. I decided I was going to take a vacation. I would pack up my car and take a vacation for a week. When that week was over, I would decide what I was going to do. I would just relax for a week and not worry about anything. If I was laid off I would need a week like that.
Since I was not laid off, I have to wonder where all this is leading me. I have to wonder where my life is going with this job. Where will I be in 2003? These are all things I was thinking about when I left the job today. What will the company look like on the day I leave? Why will I leave it in the end? Will I be remembered?
Right now I am just kicking back and trying to not think about these things. There will be another "force reduction" in two months. I will hold my breath then just in case some plans have changed. I have ideas, but not plans. I think that is what my life is about right now. I am not working to worry about the things I cannot control.
At the end of October my company had a layoff. A lot of people where let go that day, but some stayed longer. Their projects needed some time to be rapped up. It is hard to know who is staying and how is going. It is not something that a lot of people like to talk about.
We are still getting good-bye messages from people whose time has come. Those messages usually come at the middle and end of the month. We will be getting these messages for at least another month.
Today I realize I have a routine when I get one of these message. I go into my Handspring and change the persons information. I take out there extension and input what ever personal contact information they included with the message. I chance the company list from TiVo to ex-TiVo. I change the category from Work to Business. If I was on a first name basis with the person I send them a message. If I was close with the person I tell them we should do lunch sometime. I end by putting the message in a folder named ex-tivo.
It seems strange to me that I have a routine every time I get one of these message. At work today other people told me they have routines also. One person told me they say a prayer every time they get one. I know that I am at a company that has had two rounds of layoffs. I wonder if this is a normal thing to do. There are most likely people doing this all over America.
It is Christmas again and time to think about holiday parties. It is a different world now then 2000 or 1999. At least it is a different world in Silicon Valley. This story from SiliconValley.com talks about the change in the Valley. It looks like people are pulling back a little on the parting. In 1999 my company had a Christmas cruise about the bay. It had both a DJ and a funny money casino. In 2000 we had a swanky affair in Palo Alto.
This is really interesting. It was always said that Silicon Valley knows how to party. We knew how to play hard after we worked hard. Even when I was at these parties, I realized that it would not last forever. I could tell this would not last forever. Launch parties were worse then any holiday parties. I wondered how companies could spend all that money.
It is interesting that the article above does not mention layoffs at all. I think that is a really big reason not to have big parties. We just laid off half the company, but we are going to blow a few million dollars on a party. I wonder what that would do to a company's morale.
This year my company is having a holiday luncheon and a half day off. Of course this is a day that I will be in Philadelphia. I am going to miss the party all together. Oh well, I wonder if I will still be in the valley when the big parties come back.
I found out last week that my job is secure. TiVo is not planning to cut my job in the upcoming months. They are actually going to adding people to my department. This makes me feel pretty good. I am not ready to leave TiVo yet. I do not think I will be ready leave right after the holidays either. I want to stick around for a while. I do not want to be unemployed in Silicon Valley until things start to rebound around here.
Having a certain future takes a huge monkey off my back. It gives me a chance to make better plans. If I leave TiVo, I would like it to be on my terms. I do not want to be asked to leave because I am being laid off. There is part of me that thinks that I want to be at TiVo until we either hit it big or close up shop. I do not want to be asked to leave before the big finish.
I have to try not to do anything too stupid with my money. I need to build up my funds so I do not find myself out in the cold if I do get laid off. There is still a chance that might happen to me. I cannot depend on nothing. My job still might go away. I feel that I will still have a job, but I spend money like I am going to be laid off.
I still feels good to not worry about my job. I should start thinking about other things now. I am not sure what those other things are. I know there are a lot of things that I am not paying enough attention to right now. It is bad to let too many things in my life go to seed.
For weeks now, long before TiVo had layoffs, I have been thinking about reducing the amount of possessions that I own. I am starting to feel weighted down by the things that I own. I live in a studio apartment, but it will be increasingly hard for me to move from my apartment in the future. I feel that I am getting too attached to these things.
I know there are good and bad results from getting attached to possessions. I know that sometimes, attachment to possessions can help root you in a place. It can help focus you on the maintenance of that place. Those are currently two things that I do not have. I am not focused and I am not attached. I am not sure that my possessions will help me do this.
The down side of my possessions is that they tend to close me in. My possessions make me want to go and buy more possessions. They draw me to them and help me waste my time. I really do not need any more help to waste my time. I am good at wasting my time as it is right now. My possessions give me short-term enjoyment at the cost of long term accomplishment.
I am not sure when I am going to move from this apartment. It might be as soon as early next year. If I leave this apartment I will have to think about getting rid of some of my stuff. If I leave San Jose, I will think about getting rid of a great deal of my possessions. I want to think about this now while I can make a good choices. It makes me wish that I could live without owning anything. The only way I can do this is by becoming a priest. I still need to find simpler ways to live.
This has been one of the longest weeks that I have had in recent memory. On Monday I knew that something was going down at week. I thought there was a chance that I might lose my job. On Tuesday I found out that I was going to keep my job, but I was not sure what the fallout of the layoff would be. On Wednesday I found out that my department might be done away with after the holiday. On Thursday I spent the day trying to figure out where my jog would be going. On Friday I tried to pick it all up again.
I am happy this week is over. Last night I was physically and mentally exhausted. It had been such a hard week I had nothing left when I got home. I feel asleep right after I got back to my apartment. I must have slept for 9 hours. I was so beat it felt good to just sink into my bed. I took such an emotional beating this week, it felt good to just surrender to my bed last night.
I am looking forward to Monday. It will give me the chance to sort everything out at work. It will give me a fresh start. I am hoping I can focus next week. On Friday I really could not focus at all. I seemed distracted by everything going on at work. I did not feel like getting any other work done. I am hoping to get some momentum next week. It will be hard to work if I cannot get going. I do not want the next couple of months to be that hard.
I have now been through two rounds of layoffs. This round of layoffs has a really different feel to it then the last round did. In the last round I felt that I was being played as a sucker. For a little while I felt as if it would have been better if I was laid off. This round feels a lot different.
In the April round of layoffs they destroyed my department. They laid off my boss and half my department. After the layoff they tried to pull me closer to the call center. At first they wanted me to spend half my time taking customer support calls. I felt like I was getting demoted. It was not really the job I wanted to do. I found someway to fight through that.
This time it is very different. I felt that I was kept because of my skills. I feel that I was kept because they see something in my that will be important in the future. I am proud that I survived. I feel like I have done something right. I know that I have the chance to hang in at TiVo. I know that I have the ability to stick around a lot longer if I given the change.
I guess the big difference is that I have a clearer idea of what is going on around me. I think that I can see what is motivating the people around me and around the company. I do not think I am going to be screwed by someone else. I will have to see what happens from this point forward. I have a good outlook, but things can always turn on me. I will have to see what happens.
If you want a more objective view of the layoff you can check out Yahoo.
I talked to our Evangelist about the layoffs. He seemed to be taking it really hard. I asked him how he was taking it. He said it is hard whenever your family gets smaller. He takes the company very personally. I guess that is what happens when you are a corporate evangelist.
It is dark when I leave work now. By the time I leave the building it is usually pitch black. I know this is a result of Daylight Savings Time. Last night was the first night this week that I left work at my usual time. It is the first time I noticed how dark it is.
I wonder how this is going to effect my ideas about work. It seems a little silly for me to think about this since we just had a round of layoffs. I guess I have some idea of how the layoffs are going to effect me. I am not sure about the darkness. I wonder if it is going to make me want to leave work early or kill my productivity at the end of the day. I know it is going to change the way I view my day is some way.
In some ways I think it is these little things that have the biggest effect on my life.
After I found out that I would not be laid off, I spent much of the afternoon thinking about two things. I thought about leaving San Jose and I thought about staying in San Jose. Both of these ideas have a lot of weight in my head. They seem to be a central idea behind my last few months here.
I do not consider San Jose to be my home. I live here, San Jose is the address on my drivers licence, everything I own is here. I still do not seen San Jose as my home. I feel that there is some kind of distance between me and the city. I lack a connection to the city most of the time. I feel connected to my apartment, my office, and my car. For rest of city could be any other place on earth.
With all those things city, San Jose has a small place in my heart. I want good things to happen to San Jose. I think people from the rest of Silicon Valley should show San Jose more respect. I think the construction going on around the city is a good thing. I worry that the economic downturn might effect the money for those projects.
There is part of me that wants to leave San Jose. I want a new city to explore. I want a new place to figure out. I want to live in a city that has better parks. I want to go somewhere that has a different character. I want new experiences. I feel that somewhere out there I could find a city that I would enjoy more then San Jose. I miss parts of Portland and Philadelphia. I wish some of those elements where here.
I think if I leave San Jose, I will never move back here. I know that the dot.com boom period is over. It is something I will not be able to cash in on. Right now Silicon Valley is paying for those excesses. The whole Valley is depressed right now. If I leave now, that is it for me. I am not going to make my way back here.
In my heart I feel that Silicon Valley will come back. I think there will be another explosion of technology that will fuel Valley again. I still want to be part of something like that. I think once we get to the other side of this down turn there will be a huge upturn. If I can get thought this period in the Valley, I will find a huge payoff. I want to be around for the next big thing.
If the forces of fate turn against me I see myself leaving San Jose. If I lose my job at TiVo, there is a good chance I will be moving onto my next city. I am not sure what city that is. If TiVo does not let me down, I see myself staying in San Jose for a while. I know that I change my mind every other day when it comes to this city. As of today, this is where I stand on San Jose. It might change any day.
Here is the seed for a layoff mix. It has a good start, but it needs something else.
Career Opportunities - The Clash Where Do I Go - Hair Soundtrack Fred Jones Pt 2 - Ben Folds 10 - Neutral Milk Hotel Cowboy - Kid Rock Today Was A Good Day - Ice Cube I Will Survive - Gloria Gainer
If you have any other ideas what should be on this mix send me a note.
My company had layoffs today. There are so many things in my head right now, I think it would take all night to get them out. My head is think with emotion, reaction, detail, and evaluation. I might even get a full week of web logs out of the layoff. I know that I was not ready for this to happen. I just thought my company would keep on going. I should try to be smarter next time.
At the start of the day I knew what was going on. I knew that people were being laid off. The hard part was that I did not know who was going to be laid off. The morning went very slowly. I had to wait for my boss to tell me what was going on. My boss had told me that he was being laid off. I had to still wait to find out what my fate would be.
There have been two rounds of layoffs at my job. Both times my boss has been let go. I guess being my boss is a bad position to have. Both times I have had some problems with my boss. It is at the moments when layoffs are happening when you find out what kind of person your boss is. I will say that both of my former bosses are good men. Sometime it takes some distance to see this.
I just sat at my desk and waited to see what would happen. I felt like jumping up and down, but I just had to sit there. I was afraid that if I walked over to someone else's desk, I would miss the call from my boss. That would mean I would fall to the bottom of the list. I would have to wait to find out my fate.
I had already run over all my options in my head. I was trying to figure out what I was going to do if I got the ax. In my head I had four options. Three of the options are practical. One of the options makes me laugh like a madman when I think of it. Each of these options have their pluses and minuses. I was trying to see all my angles without knowing what was going to happen to me.
Option 1: Stay in San Jose and look for a job.
Positives: I do not have to move. That saves me time and money. The pay is still good here. I have some people here to network with. There are people in Silicon Valley that know that I am a good worker.
Negatives: It is expensive to live here. I would not have a long time before my money ran out. There are a lot of people out of work in the valley right now. Not many companies are hiring. I know people that looked for a long time before they found anything
Option 2: Move to a city where one of my friend is currently living and crash with them.
Positives: It would give me a chance to move to a new city and learn it. I could be closer to one of my old friends. I would be able to brake away from San Jose.
Negatives: I would have to count on the generosity of my friends to accomplish this. I might wear that out quickly. I do not have a good idea of what the job situations are like in these cities.
Option 3: Move back in with my parents.
Positives: I would have a good support network if I moved back to Philadelphia. There are a lot of people in Philadelphia that I know. I would be close to my family again. I could reconnect with some of my old friends. One of those friends might help me find a job.
Negatives: There would be some level of defeat here. I would not be returning to Philadelphia on my own terms. It would be my unemployment that would force me to go back there.
Option 4: Move back to Portland
Positives and Negatives: This is the one that makes me laugh like a madman. On one hand moving to San Jose would have been just an interruption. I would go back to the status I had before I moved down here. On the other hand I miss Portland and I still think it is a cool place to live.
My boss called me into his cubical. He said to me, "don't worry, you are not affected." I still sat and talked to him for about 20 minutes. We talked about my job and how he thought I did a good job. He told me that he was happy that he worked with me and my group. He said that it is a small valley and he would be back on his feet in no time. I should keep in touch with him. I am not worried about my boss finding another job.
It was another hour before John, a guy in my department found out that he was laid off. John had been working in the customer support group for a long time. He was the guy who trained me when I was first hired. I know that John was pissed about getting fired. After he found out, I could see the hurt in his eyes. He started to pack up his stuff.
The first round of layoffs where back in April. There were six guys and a manager in my department then. The April layoff cut my group down to three people. We also started to report to the director of customer support. In this layoff we have been cut to two people. Now we are going to report to a new director of customer support.
I have survived two rounds of layoffs. I am still going to be at work tomorrow. There is a part of me that is proud. I am a person that has been picked to stay around twice. I must be doing something right. I consider myself to be a hard worker. I take pride in my work and I want people to see me as the best at what I do.
It is hard to say these things after a layoff. It it hard to take pride in your accomplishments when other people have been let go. I did the "Rocky Dance" at one point in the afternoon. I felt like I was a survivor. I felt like I was going to hold my job together. This is a good feeling, but I feel wrong for having it.
One thing I can say is that I was not prepared to be laid off. I thought my company would go at least until after Christmas before laying people off. I thought that I would have a lot more time before I would have to face this. This makes me think. I do not think that another round is coming anytime soon. I still should start getting ready now. I should align my life so I can react better to being laid off.
For right now I have to see what direction my company moves. I have to see what the plans for the future are. I know that I have some part in those plans. I am also going to relax. Today was stressful enough for a week. I need to just get down to business. I need to get out of my head a little bit and stop thinking so much.
