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Welcome to Sad Salvation. Day by day by day by day ... this is my attempt to make sense of the world.



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Friday, September 15, 2006


7 Years Ago Today

I have living in Silicon Valley for seven years now. I started my job seven years ago today. I am past the point where those seven years feel like both a long and and short time. Now it feels like a long time. When I got here everyone was talking about the internet boom. Now everyone is talking about web 2.0, but I am not sure everyone thinks they can get rich off it.

I have worked at this job longer then I worked all of the jobs I had as an adult combined. That might be why it seems like a long time.

Who knows how long I will be here. The last time I was home, when my mother asked me about moving back to Philadelphia my father said, "He has been there this long, I don't think he is in a rush to come back." There is something comfortable about San Jose. It is the kind of city that seems to fit me.

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Friday, January 13, 2006


Sunday Write-in: Mac Users


Sunday Write-in: Mac Users
Originally uploaded by earthdog.

For a while we were a table of just Mac Users. I have said that I know a lot of Mac Users here. Being the Bay Area distorts my mental map. If I went with my friends, I would think half of all home computers were Macs. My guess is that many of my mental maps are distorted by living here.

I told the people in this picture that I would get a lot of views on flickr because it was people sitting with macs in this pictures. That tuned out to be true. After only four days it has over 100 views.

Most of my pictures have between 5-25 views after three days. I will admit that views are the currency of Flickr to me. I want my photos to get as many views as they can. I always want more views for my photos. I am not sure who pictures with Macs are so popular. I guess the cult of mac is really that popular. I should keep on taking these photos so I get more views.

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Monday, July 07, 2003


Open Roads

I keep on hearing this stories that there is less traffic in Silicon Valley. I wonder if this will be worse if the Valley rebounds.

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Tuesday, July 01, 2003


Over There

I know that I work in a place that the cost of labor is very high. I know the only reason businesses are here is because they thing we can be more efficient then any other place in the world. I know that almost every working in America has the same challenge.

I just think that companies might be killing the golden goose when they send their tech support overseas. After a while, who will be able to afford their products.

I guess part of the problem is that support does not generate any money. People are always looking for ways to cut costs.

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Saturday, July 13, 2002


Feeling Uneasy

A friend of mine got laid off this week. This scares me a lot. For the last few months I have been thinking that most of the layoffs in Silicon Valley are over. At most companies there are no more people to cut. I was thinking that all I needed to worry about was my company surviving. If my company did not make it, other companies would be hiring by the time I was looking.

I am not ready to be unemployed. I am not good at the simple things like saving money. I would have to work really hard to find another job. Including the recent events at WorldCom, Global Crossing, and Enron, I wonder if anyone in the valley is going to be tagged with this kind of problem. If that happens, it will be bad times around here. If I have to go without a job for too long, I will be heading somewhere to live with someone else.

I think I can weather the storm. The valley will be an ugly place if there is another round of layoffs. It is not too bad right now, but I think most of the gold rushers have already left. If another bad round hits, people will be sleeping on the streets soon.

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Thursday, November 29, 2001


A year is a long time

It is Christmas again and time to think about holiday parties. It is a different world now then 2000 or 1999. At least it is a different world in Silicon Valley. This story from SiliconValley.com talks about the change in the Valley. It looks like people are pulling back a little on the parting. In 1999 my company had a Christmas cruise about the bay. It had both a DJ and a funny money casino. In 2000 we had a swanky affair in Palo Alto.

This is really interesting. It was always said that Silicon Valley knows how to party. We knew how to play hard after we worked hard. Even when I was at these parties, I realized that it would not last forever. I could tell this would not last forever. Launch parties were worse then any holiday parties. I wondered how companies could spend all that money.

It is interesting that the article above does not mention layoffs at all. I think that is a really big reason not to have big parties. We just laid off half the company, but we are going to blow a few million dollars on a party. I wonder what that would do to a company's morale.

This year my company is having a holiday luncheon and a half day off. Of course this is a day that I will be in Philadelphia. I am going to miss the party all together. Oh well, I wonder if I will still be in the valley when the big parties come back.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2001


Thanksgiving effect

I have been kind of depressed for a little while now. No matter what I tried, I was still down. A couple of the things that were getting me down had turned around. I could not figure out why I was still down. Today my cousin invited me to spend Thanksgiving with his family. I accepted and right away I was in a better mood. Where I had been dragging I intently just started to have a good time again.

I wonder if this was that one thing that was just keeping me down. I was hoping to get invited to a dinner by one of the people I work with. I was hoping to make this a social event. I figured out a couple of weeks ago that was not going to happen. Most of the people that I asked were going out of town. There was not much going on around here.

This might speak my lack of friendships in Silicon Valley. I really wanted to find some kind of orphans' Thanksgiving dinner to go to. I thought that one of my friends would have to having one. That was not the case. If I had more friends, would I have been invited somewhere? I do not know the answer to this question.

What I know is that I have somewhere to eat turkey tomorrow. That I am thankful for. I do not know what tomorrow will be like, but I know I will have a good time.

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Wednesday, October 31, 2001


Yesterday Afternoon

After I found out that I would not be laid off, I spent much of the afternoon thinking about two things. I thought about leaving San Jose and I thought about staying in San Jose. Both of these ideas have a lot of weight in my head. They seem to be a central idea behind my last few months here.

I do not consider San Jose to be my home. I live here, San Jose is the address on my drivers licence, everything I own is here. I still do not seen San Jose as my home. I feel that there is some kind of distance between me and the city. I lack a connection to the city most of the time. I feel connected to my apartment, my office, and my car. For rest of city could be any other place on earth.

With all those things city, San Jose has a small place in my heart. I want good things to happen to San Jose. I think people from the rest of Silicon Valley should show San Jose more respect. I think the construction going on around the city is a good thing. I worry that the economic downturn might effect the money for those projects.

There is part of me that wants to leave San Jose. I want a new city to explore. I want a new place to figure out. I want to live in a city that has better parks. I want to go somewhere that has a different character. I want new experiences. I feel that somewhere out there I could find a city that I would enjoy more then San Jose. I miss parts of Portland and Philadelphia. I wish some of those elements where here.

I think if I leave San Jose, I will never move back here. I know that the dot.com boom period is over. It is something I will not be able to cash in on. Right now Silicon Valley is paying for those excesses. The whole Valley is depressed right now. If I leave now, that is it for me. I am not going to make my way back here.

In my heart I feel that Silicon Valley will come back. I think there will be another explosion of technology that will fuel Valley again. I still want to be part of something like that. I think once we get to the other side of this down turn there will be a huge upturn. If I can get thought this period in the Valley, I will find a huge payoff. I want to be around for the next big thing.

If the forces of fate turn against me I see myself leaving San Jose. If I lose my job at TiVo, there is a good chance I will be moving onto my next city. I am not sure what city that is. If TiVo does not let me down, I see myself staying in San Jose for a while. I know that I change my mind every other day when it comes to this city. As of today, this is where I stand on San Jose. It might change any day.

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Saturday, October 27, 2001


I Think I Have Seen It All

Every week at TiVo we have a company wide meeting. When I first started to work at TiVo the company wide meetings used to be big things. Everyone in the company used to cram into the open area. We would get updates from all over the company. We would hear about every effort to improve the company. The employees felt connected to everything the company was doing.

As the company has become larger these company meetings have become less important. Less then a third of the employees show up at the weekend meeting most of the time. The meeting are much more boring then they used to be. The information is not as thrilling as it used to be. I do not know if the information as change or if we are just used to it now. I should not be surprised that these things have changed. TiVo is Different, Silicon Valley is Different, and the whole world is different.

This week's company meeting was really strange. It was strange enough that I think I should write about it here. The TV Linux Alliance had sent TiVo a box full of Styrofoam Tux Penguins. Tux is the symbol/mascot for Linux. The box had about a hundred of these little dolls in it. At the end of the company meeting the people in the front of the lunch room started to throw these dolls into the crowd. After a few rounds the people in the front of the room just starting chucking the Tux Dolls at the crowd. The rest of the people started throwing the dolls back.

Somewhere this turned into a free for all. These little black penguins just started to fly everywhere. It felt almost like a food fight. For a good five minutes people where throwing these penguins at each other. I tried to only hit the executive staff. When else am I going to get the chance to throw something at a vice-president without getting fired. I laughed myself to tears when I saw that was of the development managers was sitting under the table hiding. This was one of those company wide moments of fun that TiVo has not had in a long time.

I will say that I have never been through something like the penguin fight before. I have never been at a company where a meeting has turned into something from summer camp. I am not saying this is a bad thing. I think we need this kind of fun more often. I know it will be increasingly hard to do as the company grows. I just think it is the kind of healthly fun that a company could always use more of.

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Sunday, October 21, 2001


TiVo October-Fest

We had a company picnic today. I am a big person for showing up at company parties. TiVo has thrown some pretty good parties in the past. I have been with the company long enough to say I have been to a good deal of the parties. The Parties now a days are not like the ones we threw two years ago. This party was a potluck. One of the guys in the band was the VP of IT.

Parties were a big part of the dot.com boom Silicon Valley. TiVo's IPO party was held in San Francisco. It was an expensive affair made to look like a Hollywood premiere. There were search lights, celebrity impersonators and a red carpet. The red carpet had people cheering for us and a guy trying to interview us as we went to the party. This was a tame IPO party by Silicon Valley standards.

Now Silicon Valley is a much different place. Most companies do not have the money to blow on big parties. I have not hear of any obnoxious in a while. Most companies are doing the best they can not to lay people off. I know that our last two parties have been funded by the employees.

Most of the people at the TiVo October-fest brought their children. We are a company full of young parents. Most of the people are around my age. There have been a lot of kids that were born in the past two years. This makes me realize that I cannot no longer talk about my childhood at work. Most of the people are talking about the childhoods of their kids. It is the difference between having kids and not having kids.

I had a good time at the party. I went by myself. I do not have anyone to take with me. I do not even have anyone I can take as a safety date. It is one thing I used to have back in Warminster. Only a couple of people came alone to party. I think that everyone that came alone were in the customer support department. They closed the call center early. I know that is a reason that a lot of the reps showed up.

I stayed to the end of the party. I was one of the last people to leave. I am usually one of the last people to leave a party. I felt sad when I left the party. I felt said because I was leaving alone. I did not have anyone to come to the party with and I did not have anyone to go home with. It has a lot to say about my life in Silicon Valley. There is not much going on in my life outside of work.

As I was driving home from the picnic I felt really lonely. It is a feeling that I have dealt with over and over again. I do not know how to get away from this loneliness. I do not know how to meet people. I am not sure if I want to be in a relationship. I do know that I want to get rid of this feeling.

I do not know if I will be able to get rid of the loneliness in San Jose. The problem is that I cannot leave here and still work for TiVo. How I feel about TiVo is a whole different entry that I am going to save for another time.

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