To say the least, my trip to Portland was great. Kate really loved Portland also. We only went to a fraction of the places that I usually like to go and she still loved it. We talked about the chances that we would move to Portland some day. I told her that there were only a handful of places that I really wanted to live. Portland was near the top of that list.
It was a great trip for a lot of reasons. Kate and I travel well together. I am someone who like to keep plans open when I travel. I see that this did not bother Kate. We spent a lot of time visiting with Don and Jenna. Kate did not mind that we spent a lot of time with someone she had never met before. He instantly clicked with Don and Jenna and we all had a good time. That is also important to me.
Things I meant to show Kate but did not have the time: Powells City of Books The Rose Garden Tom McCall Waterfront Park Pioneer Courthouse Square SW Park blocks Bagdad theater
I have the feeling that Kate and I will make our way back to Portland. It would be cool if I could live there again. Even if we just go visit there it will be cool. I have visited Portland on every even year since I left. I do not see that trend ending because of Kate.
We drove home yesterday. It was 12 hours south on I-5. It was not a bad drive, but i was kind of tired. After a exciting vacation it is always hard to drive home. Kate slept a lot on the way home. I did my best to not fall asleep on the way home also. I was mindful not to speed too much, which made the trip drag on. To be honest I would have to loved to stay in Portland. I guess all vacations have to come to an end.
I asked Kate to marry me in Portland and she said yes. Yes, I asked her on March 17th St. Patrick's Day, but I am getting a head of my self here.
Kate and I started Monday by sleeping in. After breakfast and internet at the Kennedy school we looked for places to get Kate's nails done. We drove around Portland for a little bit before meeting Sean for lunch.
The whole time all of these things happened I was trying to figure out when I was going to ask Kate. Kate knew the proposal was coming soon. She knew that I ordered a ring but I did not have it with me in Portland. Knowing that, Kate has accused me of being kind of "squirrelly". She knew something was up.
I figured my only chance was to make her think I was going to do something at Dinner and ask her earlier. After a couple of text messages with a friend I decided I was going to ask her on the Hawthorne bridge in the late afternoon. I wanted to get my hair cut first. I was just hoping that the weather would hold out.
I had an appointment for get my hair cut and Kate had a nail appointment. My best friend for high school and college, His sister Shannon is a hair stylist in Portland. I had seen her over Christmas. She said she would be happy to cut my hair. We tried to hook it up two years ago, but the timing was all wrong.
It was cool to have my hair cut away from home by a person who knew me. It was a good haircut. I do not have a hair stylist in San Jose I like this much. If I lived in Portland I would go to Shannon at Dirty Little Secret all the time.
I told Kate after the Haircut that I wanted to take some photos of her on the Hawthorne bridge. Earlier in the trip I told her how the Hawrhorne bridge in Portland. Not only did it go between two of my favorite parts of town, it is also a beautiful bridge. Since I take a lot of photos it was not hard to convince Kate that I wanted to take her photo on the bridge.
I knew that I wanted to ask Kate with a photographic months back. I got the idea while we were in Philadelphia after Christmas. I wanted so way to ask Kate that I could later post on Flickr. In February I had Peter Conrad make the sign for me and take the photo of me. The photo of me at the top of the post was taken at the place where Kate and I had our first date, Mission City Coffee.
On Saturday I had Don run out and make a print for me. I knew that I was not going to be able to slip away from Kate for long enough to get it done. This lead to the whole thing with me acting "Squirrelly".
I walked Kate on the bridge and started taking some pictures. After a few pictures I said I had a prop for her. I handed her a bag with the photo in it. The print was 8x10. She looked at the photo and was surprised. She did not expect me to ask her there in this way. I am happy I could surprise her. I told her there were two more signs in the bag, 'Yes' and 'No'. I told her she needed to pick one of them out and hold it up. She held up the 'yes' sign.
We were both floating six feet off the ground when we got off the bridge. We went back to the Kennedy school. It was packed when we got back there. St. Patrick's day attracts a lot of people to the Kennedy School. We used their soaking pool for a little while. It seemed perfect. The water was warm and air was cool. We were as close to weightless as we could be. We floated around each other was we talked about the future.
We headed back to the room to take advantage of the Romance package, which was a bottle of champagne on ice and two chocolate truffles. After a little time in the room we decided to get some dinner in the hotel restaurant. The wait for the restaurant was 90 minutes, but when you are staying at a hotel with its own brewery and six bars, waiting 90 minutes for a table is not too hard.
We had a lot of beer, chicken wings, tater tots while we waited. We mooned at each other over steak and beer for dinner. Steak has become a celebration meal for us. It seemed perfect that night. Lets just say we were pretty free with the drinks that night. Everything that night seemed to make us happy.
We stumbled back to our room after a few hours. When got there I wanted to make sure we finished I wanted to make sure we finished off the bottle of champagne. I paid good money for it and I did not want it to go to waste. It was a little warm and flat for sitting out, but that was fine by me. The only glass clean in the room was a pint glass. We ended up sharing that glass, trading it back and forth. I ended up Twittering "we finished a bottle of flat sparkling wine out of a pint glass. what a perfect day."
After that I had this Idea that we should go out side and look at the stars. We we got outside we found out it was raining. The sky was gray and we could not see any stars. So we ended up dancing outside in the rain. It was still pretty cool. It was the end of a perfect day.
We are staying the night at three different places in Portland. Most times this might get in the way of a trip, but this trip it is working very well. It is giving me a chance to show Kate different parts of Portland. It is making the vacation feel like we are doing more without spending a lot more money. It is working out nicely.
Sunday we checked into the Kennedy school. I love the Kennedy School. It has been once of my favorite places in Portland since I moved there. I will admit that I am a bit of a mark for McMenamins. The idea that they are selling appeals to me greatly.
I am very happy that Kate also liked the Kennedy School. She likes the art that is on the walls. She like the design of the place. She loves that the building is an old elementary school. I think that is shows a lot in common with us. I think it something we see the same way.
Saturday we did two very Portland things. In the afternoon we went to the Portland Saturday Market. I love the Saturday market. When I lived in Portland I spent plenty of weekend mornings shopping there. There is something I really like about crafts. I even bought Kate a new purse there.
In the evening we meet Sean for the Portland Trailblazers game. It was a pretty good basketball game. I had never been to a Trailblazers game before. The Rose Quarter is a good arena for basketball. We were all the way at the back of the lower bowl in the corner, but we could see all of the action fine. The Blazers beat the Timberwolves 107-96. I am happy to see NBA scores back in the 100s.
It was just fun to hang out with my brother. We were late for the game, but that did not matter because I was hanging out with Sean. That was the whole point, for us to hang out with my brother. We ended up having to park no where near the arena. Note for next time, if there is a next time, take the MAXX to the Trail Blazers game.
On this trip we are going to be staying a couple of different places. I think this is an interesting way to see a city. Thursday night we needed to stay someplace cheap. From the moment we got into town I had a place in mind.
When I first heard the Decemberist song On the Bus Mall the line In our rat trap hotel by the freeway made me think of an place by my old apartment. Last night we decided to stay there.
I am not sure this was the place the Colin Maloy was really singing about, but after staying there, it just might be. It was not the worst motel I have ever stayed at. There was no evidence of rats, mice or cockroaches around the room. The carpet was not sticky under my feet. It did not smell funny.
The New York Times travel section did a story about the 53 places to visit in 2008. I would like to be able to visit all of them. Right now San Francisco and San Diego are the only two places on the list that I will likely travel to next year. In San Diego I doubt I will get a chance to stay in the new Hard Rock Hotel. If you want to hire me for some kind of job that will send me to all these places, I will be happy to go.
There is a good chance I will go to Portland sometime next year. My guess is that I will do a lot less travel next year. I doubt I will get to as many places as I did this year.
I do not know when I will get to Portland next, but it has been calling me. Next year I think I will be there. I have visited Portland every even year since I left there. I am looking forward to going again. I know I was not there long, but it still has some of my heart.
I was temped to just jump ship in Portland and not come home. I knew that would not be a good idea so I got on the plane. There are too many things that tie me to my current life.
Thursday was National Bike to Work Day. For a while now I have been thinking about getting my bike fixed up. I always loved riding, but I have not been doing it much since I lived in San Jose. Last week I finally got off my butt and did something about it. I had no idea that bike to work day was this week.
Bike to work day has been an event at work for the last couple of years. It is not a huge thing, but I have seen the signs in the past and felt bad about not trying it. Now that my bike was fixed, I would have no excuse for not trying.
I have not rode my bike in years. I bought my bike in August of 1999 in Portland. I wrote it a lot that month. Portland is a great place to ride a bike. In September of 1999 I moved to San Jose. San Jose is not a very friendly bicycle city. It has been in storage (behind the couch) all that time.
My bike route from my apartment to the office was about 8.8 miles. It was not the most direct route, but I wanted to stay close to the light rail line. I wanted to be able to get on the light rail if the trip was too much for me. I got my bike from the bike shop on Friday, biked it around the block a couple of times Sunday, and rode it eight blocks on Monday. I knew I needed a back up plan for Bike to work day. The light rail was that backup plan.
I can finally say, Yes! I have biked to work. I made it all the way there on my own power. I did not have to resort to my backup plan. The trip was pretty interesting. Most of it was easier than I expected. The first 6 miles just flew by. I was not tired or aching at all.
The last two miles just killed me. I had two hills in those last two miles and it was just enough to zap me. I felt great when I got to work. I was happy that I was able to get through those tough stretches.
My only problem is that I was tired for the rest of the day. My legs felt heavy and I really wanted to take a nap. I got though the day, but every time I stood up I wanted to take a nap.
I did not ride all the way home. I biked two miles to a light rail stop and took the light rail the rest of the way home. My legs were so tired that I just had to take the light rail.
Now I have to figure out where to go from here. I know that I should keep biking to work. It is a good form of exercise and I like it. I need to make it so it does not wear me out and effect my work. I am thinking of riding 20 minutes and taking the light rail the rest of the way. That way I can build up my stamina. I know I just need to stick with it.
It has been hard for me to get back to work. I thought that taking a vacation would re-energize me to be at the office. It has worked in the past. I would go away for a few days and I would be able to swallow all the work bull again. Just catching up from being on vacation seems to be enough sometimes.
This time it is just not cutting it. I am looking at the work in front of me and I want no part of it. It seems more senseless then usual. I am just reminded that I should be looking for a better job.
Since getting back from Portland, I keep on thinking about how close 30 is. I keep on thinking about how I am not ready to turn 30. I should be doing more important things with my life. I should have done more things by now.
On top of all this, I have to take a three day trip to Albuquerque this week. I wish it was not right on the heals of my trip to Portland. I feel that I am going to miss a lot of things going on around the office. I am not recovered from my vacation yet. I do not want to go, but I do not want to tell my boss that either. It looks like I am on my way to Albuquerque tomorrow.
My first few days in Portland, I had a great time. Everything was just right. It almost seemed like too good of a time. I was remembering the best of Portland. I was not remembering the problems I had with the city. I could remember that I was happy to leave for Portland. I was afraid that I was not going to remember why I was happy to leave.
After a couple of days on my own, I started to get some ideas about Portland. I think Portland is a great city when you are in a relationship. It is a great city when you have a lot of friends around. It is a great city when you are clicking in your social aspects. It is a really rough city when you are alone.
Everyone seems to know everyone else and you know none of them. It is like they have all been friends for years. They great each other and you have the feeling they have great connections. The people are nice, but they look you like you are intruding if you try to talk to them. I am bad in those situations to begin with. I have a hard time breaking though that wall.
I would say San Jose is an easier place to be alone that Portland. I do not see people all around me that seem to be having such a great connection. Most of the people I run into in San Jose do not seem like they have the world under control. It makes it easier to deal with the doubts of my life. I do not want to fell like everyone else has all the answers but me.
Maybe I should make the list of all the cities I would live in. It would be a good list because I would have to think about why I like all these cities. I think it would be good to put these ideas down on paper.
As I drove around Portland I looked for things that were closed. I looked for businesses that I used to go to that are now closed. Most of the businesses I supported are still open. It looks like the current economic downturn is not treating retail Portland that poorly. In San Jose lots of retail businesses have gone down.
On the other side, I was told while I was there that Portland currently has over eight percent unemployment. A lot of people are having a hard time finding jobs. There have been a lot of cuts in the tech sector. It seems like all the new jobs that were created in the late 80s have gone away.
The Tech sector taking a dump is something that would keep me away from Portland. I have the feeling that my skills are best used in the tech sector. If I have to look in another sector, I might be looking at a lessor job. In the 80's the economy in Portland really took a beating. I wonder if it is a city that does not do well during recessions.
These things are important to be because sometimes I think about taking a second crack at Portland. It is still high on the list of places that I would live next. If I think I will not be able to get a job there, it makes it hard for me to want to move there. For some reason I always see myself 'moving cold' to my next city. That means not having a job before I move there. Maybe I have to wait for the tech sector to rebound before I try moving back.
Today was the big drive home. That was my only goal today. I went to bed early last night and got up very early this morning. I was out of bed by 3:30 AM and on the road by 4:00. I like starting early. I wanted to clear any major cities before traffic. I was clear of Eugene by 6 AM.
I also like to start driving early because those first almost free. We all have a maximum number of hours that we can spend in a car. I feel that the hours before 7 AM do not count toward that total. It is 7 AM before I realize what I have set out to do.
I was in California at 8:59 AM. It felt cool that I was in California at about the time I would be in work on any other day. I am surprised there are not any huge shopping outlets on the southern Oregon boarder because of the tax-free shopping. I guess there is not that many people close enough to the boarder.
I got back to my apartment in San Jose at 2:30 PM. If you do the math, that is 10.5 hours to get from Portland to San Jose. It is proof if you speed, you can save two or three hours in a full day drive. I drove like I was shot out of a cannon. I know that my car is not fast, but it might be too fast for me. I am not sure what kind of trouble I would get myself into if I hard a really fast car. I got up to 90 at one point and it still did not feel like I was going fast. I stayed between 10 and 15 mph over the speed limit at any time. The roads where empty the whole way back.
I was really sick of driving by the time I got to San Jose. For right now, I do not need to spend hours in my car any time soon. It was good for me to take a road trip. It is something that I have not done for a long time. I do not need it do it any time soon.
Whenever I get back to San Jose I am happy to be home. I wonder if that is a happiness to be back at my home base or if that is a happiness to be back in San Jose. The sun was shinning and it was a beautiful day in San Jose. I give San Jose a hard time a lot. I keep on staying that it lacks something. To be honest, it is not that bad of a place. There are a lot of worst places out there. I should try to figure out how I feel about the city.
Tomorrow I am on my way back to work. Now I am wishing that I took Thursday and Friday off also. It would be nice to have some time to rest before trying to head back to work. I have to try to get back into the swing of things tomorrow. It should be fun. I am looking forward to seeing what everyon says about my hair.
Now I have to figure out a lot of things. I have to figure out if I am going to drive cross country or not. I have to think about what I am going to do for my 30th birthday. I have to figure out what I really think of my life. Some of these things will be harder then others.
The only important thing I did today was have lunch with Amber. She is the last person I keep in touch with from 800.COM. Amber is just a great person. I talked to her like no time at all had past. There was a slight moment when it was uncomfortable, but that went away almost instantly. It is like we never stopped seeing each other.
We have been keeping in touch via e-mail. We both knew about the big events in each others lives. I know that she is married and trying to buy a house. She knows that I am still working for TiVo and living in San Jose.
I like Amber for a lot of reasons. We are about the same age, we had the same goals at one time, and we have run into the same walls in life. I think there is a lot of connection there. They are the things that made us friends in the first place. She is the last person I speak to from 800.COM. I am the last one she speaks to also.
We talked a lot about turning 30 this year. It is a big event and a small event at the same time. She told me that scheduled a doctor’s appointment for her birthday. I told her I do not have any plans yet. I would like someone to throw me a party, but I do not want to ask anyone to do it for me.
We talked for an hour. It felt like it was longer then that, but still not enough time. I hope I get to see her again sometime soon. I hope it is not another three years before I see her face to face. I think she is someone I could stay friends with for a long time. I hope that I get that chance.
I thought Amber was going to blow me off. I thought she was just pushing me off and she did not want to see me. I did not feel this way after I saw her. I was thinking about leaving Portland early. I am happy that I waited around for the chance to see her.
Old hangouts
I went to Tennessee Red’s for dinner tonight. I know it has been two and a half years since I have been there last, but I was disappointed. It used to have the feeling of a place run by guys who were right out of the hills of Rocky Top. Not it feels like a hipster hangout. The food was not as good as it used to be. I guess things do not stay the same.
Random Roads
Bought a copy of the Qur'an
Got a buzz haircut.
Hung out at Pioneer Courthouse Square one last time.
Watched Vanilla Sky in my hotel room last night
Going to bed early so I can get up early to hit the road tomorrow.
This vacation should help me figure out what I want to do with my next vacation.
Politics of the Ballot Every time I come to Portland people try to get me to sign ballot measure petitions. Ballot initiatives are really a west coast thing. It makes people think they are close to democracy. There are lots of issues with petition drives. One of the big issues is that people are paid to gather signatures. They are usually paid per signature.
I told the one guy that I do not like ballot measures. I think it gives the lawmakers an excuse to be lazy. Instead of lawmakers taking on tough issues and making good laws. They let the tough ideas go to the ballot. We get poorly written, ambiguous, easy to overturn laws. I think that the ballot measures should be more restrictive. It sounds so un-democratic when I say this, but it is a better from of government.
Jugglers in the streets
I told a Juggler that I think all people who learn how to juggle do it because they are starved to attention. He agreed with a little bit and then proceeded to tell me that it was not true. He tried to compare Juggling to playing a musical instrument. He told me that Boffo the Clown is the greatest juggle in the world but he only juggled in private. He was a street performer, so I gave him a dollar for giving him a hard time.
We talked for a while. He tried to teach me how to juggle. I warned him that I have hands of stone. I only played sports where I was not allowed to touch the ball. I quickly showed him that I did not have the skills it takes to juggle. We had a good laugh. It has been a while since I have just started a conversation with someone on the street like that. I should try it more often.
Watching the public
Later that day I was sitting in Pioneer Courthouse Square. I was wondering if I would see the juggler again. I know that he was just traveling though Portland. I did not see him. It was interesting to see the people sitting there. I always seem women here that I want to try to talk to, but I can never do it. I can never get up the nerve to do this. I wonder how I would feel if someone at random approached me. I would be a little scared and un-nerved.
Drinks with Doug
I had drinks with Doug today. Doug was one the the best guys I met when I was living in Portland. We met at a book signing at Powells. Doug and I used to talk for hours about all kinds of things. We like each other because we both have a view about the world. Doug talked about school, baseball, teaching and Portland. He wants to be a playwright. It is one of those career choices I do not understand. I am so far away from that world. My guess is that he really loves it.
If I lived in Portland I would see Doug all the time. I know I could get him away from the house to have drinks from time to time. I miss having someone like Doug in my life. I never worked with him. He was someone I could talk to things about. He was not involved with the things I wanted to get away from. I have met few people that have as sharp of a mind as Doug. I think that we will have these check in sessions ever couple of years.
Random Roads
They call Pioneer Courthouse Square ‘Portland’s Living Room’. What does that mean?
Had lunch at the Bagdad today
Bagdad is a pivotal place in my history of Portland
I am thinking about ending my vacation early
Powells on Hawthorne is one of the places I miss most about Portland.
Alone on the road I have spent most of this trip alone. I knew that before I came up here. What am I trying to figure out with all this time alone? It is alone and away from my regular life. Today it was hard to be alone. I wanted to be closer to people. It is Easter, and everyone I saw where in groups. Not being close to people is really getting me down. I have to think about that.
Lost on the Street or Religion
When I left the restaurant I was having dinner at tonight I was panhandled by a girl. I am not sure if she was 16 or 24, but she looked in rough shape. She was eating a handful of gummy worms. She asked me if I had any change. I usually do not give money to panhandlers, but today is Easter. I gave her about seventy-five cents in change and left it at that.
I know what she meant her that she did not have any Easter candy or Easter dinner. I thought about the idea that Easter is really for religion. Easter is about faith. I wanted to tell her to look into religion. If she is living on the streets she is looking for something. I wanted to tell her to look for that something in religion. It does not work for everyone, but it might work for her. It might be better then living on the street.
I did not say anything to her. The whole time I walked away, I wanted to turn around and say something. I am not a super religious person. I just cannot think living on the streets is better then finding faith. I still wish I told her this.
I went back later to see if she was there, but she was not. I wonder if I would have said anything to her if she were there. I will never know now.
Alone thoughts I am a little depressed today. I am depressed because I am alone. I know I took this vacation to be alone, but it is pointing something out to me.
Random Roads
I am spending too much money on this vacation.
Breakfast at Jo Rousserie & Bar
Lunch at Burgerville
Dinner at the Downtown Greek Deli & Cusina
The restaurant has an octopus on the facade.
I had a great sandwich there.
I had two bottles of beer today.
The city was really dead tonight
There was not much to do today
I spent a lot of time driving around the outskirts of the city
I went to sleep early last night. I was tired because I did not get much sleep for the three nights before that. I was almost falling asleep during the movie and during dinner. I did not have any plans. I knew that if I just kept drinking, I might get in a bad position. While this is a drinking vacation, I want to avoid being in a bad way about it.
Figuring out Portland
I have been having a great time in Portland. Everything seems great as I go around this town. I am asking myself why don't I live here right now. The problem is that I know I had problems with this town when I was here. I was happy to leave Portland. I am trying to remember why that was. If I do not remember why, I could get myself into trouble. If I do not see the down sides of Portland, I will pine for it. I will try to line up my return and that will be trouble.
I know that one of my problems is that I had problems finding a job I wanted. I temped two places. I know that I could have put in more time, but there are a lot better jobs in San Jose. There has to be something said for that.
I know it was something else also. I know that there are other things that where were wrong when I left. I have to figure those things out on this trip. Right now I cannot remember what those things were. I need to know what will give me problems if I come back here.
Random Roads
MP3 Player/laptop combination is great for vacation.
I drank 6 pints of beer today.
I am seeing a lot of building around town built in 1912. That must have been a big year in Portland.
I did not see a movie today.
I keep on thinking someone is going to mug me today.
Personal Pub Crawl, Draft at Shooter McQuades, Two Drafts at Kelly's Olympian, Two Drafts at Ringlers
I stole the 'history' card from Kelly's Olympian and turned into a letter for Jeremy
if I lived in Portland, I would try to drink in every bar in the city
When I went Portland and the dot.com craze was just starting, I worked at 800.COM. It was an interesting place to work. It had that excitement that you see at start ups. When I first worked there they brought in Lunch and Dinner every night. I worked overtime almost everyday so I could get both meals. I worked with a great bunch of people.
When I worked at 800.COM I was really caught up in the whole idea of the New Economy. I thought that company like 800.COM would really change the retail landscape. I liked the people I worked with, but it was clear that we were on the bottom of the ladder at 800.COM. After temping for 6 months I left. I felt the company had no loyalty to me. I wonder what would have happened if I had been hired as an employee.
I was not hired and I went on to San Jose later that year. I am still at the job I left Portland for. I think about how different my life would have been if I stayed in Portland. I still hear from a couple of my 800.COM Friends. It is not that often. It is still good to hear from them. I wonder they they think about all this.
It looks like I will not hit the road at all until my trip to Portland at the end of March. I have been thinking about taking a long day trip, but looks like it is not going to happen. Part of the problem is that I am on call every other weekend. That cuts in half the weekends I can leave town. I do not want to not answer the on call phone. That is a way to start having to work weekend again.
The other problem is that I keep on finding things to do on my none on call weekend. I was not on call this weekend, but I was invited to go out on Saturday night. In two weekends someone is having a big party I want to go to. There will be no road trip that weekend. I think my next good weekend is my trip to Portland.
It would be nice to get a day trip in before Portland, but it is not going to happen. Portland is an important trip. It will decide if I drive cross country this summer. I know that I am putting a lot of press on what I can learn on one trip.
My plan is to drive to Portland taking US 101 North all the way to Seaside. I would like to spend my night in Seaside. I will drive US 26 from Seaside to Portland. I have wanted to drive 101 north for a long time. It is a much more scenic drive then taking I-5 North. I will be able to see the ocean for much of this drive.
I have been longing to visit Portland for a while. It has been since June 2000 since I was in Portland last. It is a city that still holds some part of my heart. I miss a lot of little things about the city. I miss the parks, clear air, Powell's Books, coffee shops, and brew pubs. It was a city that I did not understand when I left. I think I could take better advantage of it now. I was only there for a short time, but that city still clouds my minds.
I still have a couple of friends in Portland. I am not sure if I am going to stay with them or stay in a hotel. Part of me wants to live the big time and stay in a nice downtown hotel. I have never blown a lot of money on a hotel before. I think there would be something cool in just dropping cash on the hotel. I could be Mr. Big Time for a couple of days.
I am looking forward to seeing my friends. I have been able to stay friends with them. It is hard to keep in contact with people when you do not see them very often. If I moved back to Portland the people will not be the draw. I would be moving back just like I moved there the first time. With no real support in the city.
I still think about moving back to Portland. I tell people if I could have my current job and live in Portland, it would be a great combination. I think I could be a lot happier. I do not know if I will ever move back there. It is something I have to think about for the future.
I went out and bought new front tires this weekend. My front tires were starting to look worn. Four of the last Five times I bought new tires, it was because one of my tires went flat. The last two times I had to change a tire on a highway. There are few things I hate more then changing a tire on the highway. My mind was full of all the stories of people getting hurt doing that.
The tires are a very important step. I need to make sure my car is in roadtrip shape. I would hate to be riding on a spare time when the next exit is 50 miles away. I am going to take a test trip this spring. I am going to take a road trip so I can see if my car can handle a long trip. I am going to drive up to Portland over Easter Weekend. I have a three day weekend. I can take a couple of days and just stretch that weekend. This will be the trip that will decide it my are is up to a further trip.
I know that waiting until April to decide if I want to take a trip in July might be a little late. This worries me a little bit. I wonder if it will be a problem for any of the people that I want to see. I feel that I have to take a trip to Portland. If I am driving, I really do not want to drive any sooner. I at least want to wait until March. I might as well wait for my three day weekend. I will have to see how this unfolds.
Welcome to Portland Day! It was three years ago that I arrived in Portland. It was my big move from Philadelphia to the West Coast. The trip took me eight days with a couple stops along the way. When I got to Portland I went to Riverfront Park and threw my key chain in the river. I took my keys car keys off it first. My parent's house keys are somewhere at the bottom of the Willamette River. I confider Portland Day to be my own private holiday.
I am a person who thinks it is important to celebrate anniversary's. It is a good way to remind ourselves how quickly time passes. I think that we miss the passage of time if we are careful. I am always amazed at swiftly the world around me changes. From my point of view it seems like nothing changes. I need to slow down and look around to see those changes.
It is hard for me to tell the people around me here in Silicon Valley why today is important to me. It was a huge jump when I moved to Portland. I was moving to a city where I did not know anyone, did not have a job, and did not have a place to stay. I was just going to take a chance that I would be able to find something. I was shedding all the comforts of Warminster to look for adventure.
The people that know me now did not know me then. When I was still in Warminster my life was going nowhere. I was working a job I hated. I was working for a company that offered me no future. All of my really close friends had already moved on to other cities. There was nothing tying me to that area anymore. I knew that I had to leave that town.
I packed up everything that I owned and moved to the West Coast. It is now three years later and I am still here. I can say that the move was successful. I was able to find a job. I found jobs that I could build one on top of another. I have been able to build some kind of life. It is not the live that I pictured in my dreams, but it is not my worst nightmares either.
For the last couple of days I have been e-mailing some of the people I knew in Portland. One of them told me I should move back there. There is something about Portland that still holds a place in my heart. I often find myself missing that city. I miss the things I could do while I was there. I miss the things I could do with my time and the places I could go.
If I had to move back to Philadelphia, I would not be defeated. My tail would not be between my legs as I made my way back. Part of me would like to find a way to really move back Philadelphia. I miss my family and friends. I miss a lot of little things about the area.
I do not know where I will be this time next year. I might be here in San Jose in the same job, in the same apartment I sit in right now. I might have fled San Jose for another city. I might be back in Philadelphia trying to figure out the next direction my life might take. The world is still a wide open place. I can only guess what the next year has for me.
My company had layoffs today. There are so many things in my head right now, I think it would take all night to get them out. My head is think with emotion, reaction, detail, and evaluation. I might even get a full week of web logs out of the layoff. I know that I was not ready for this to happen. I just thought my company would keep on going. I should try to be smarter next time.
At the start of the day I knew what was going on. I knew that people were being laid off. The hard part was that I did not know who was going to be laid off. The morning went very slowly. I had to wait for my boss to tell me what was going on. My boss had told me that he was being laid off. I had to still wait to find out what my fate would be.
There have been two rounds of layoffs at my job. Both times my boss has been let go. I guess being my boss is a bad position to have. Both times I have had some problems with my boss. It is at the moments when layoffs are happening when you find out what kind of person your boss is. I will say that both of my former bosses are good men. Sometime it takes some distance to see this.
I just sat at my desk and waited to see what would happen. I felt like jumping up and down, but I just had to sit there. I was afraid that if I walked over to someone else's desk, I would miss the call from my boss. That would mean I would fall to the bottom of the list. I would have to wait to find out my fate.
I had already run over all my options in my head. I was trying to figure out what I was going to do if I got the ax. In my head I had four options. Three of the options are practical. One of the options makes me laugh like a madman when I think of it. Each of these options have their pluses and minuses. I was trying to see all my angles without knowing what was going to happen to me.
Option 1: Stay in San Jose and look for a job.
Positives: I do not have to move. That saves me time and money. The pay is still good here. I have some people here to network with. There are people in Silicon Valley that know that I am a good worker.
Negatives: It is expensive to live here. I would not have a long time before my money ran out. There are a lot of people out of work in the valley right now. Not many companies are hiring. I know people that looked for a long time before they found anything
Option 2: Move to a city where one of my friend is currently living and crash with them.
Positives: It would give me a chance to move to a new city and learn it. I could be closer to one of my old friends. I would be able to brake away from San Jose.
Negatives: I would have to count on the generosity of my friends to accomplish this. I might wear that out quickly. I do not have a good idea of what the job situations are like in these cities.
Option 3: Move back in with my parents.
Positives: I would have a good support network if I moved back to Philadelphia. There are a lot of people in Philadelphia that I know. I would be close to my family again. I could reconnect with some of my old friends. One of those friends might help me find a job.
Negatives: There would be some level of defeat here. I would not be returning to Philadelphia on my own terms. It would be my unemployment that would force me to go back there.
Option 4: Move back to Portland
Positives and Negatives: This is the one that makes me laugh like a madman. On one hand moving to San Jose would have been just an interruption. I would go back to the status I had before I moved down here. On the other hand I miss Portland and I still think it is a cool place to live.
My boss called me into his cubical. He said to me, "don't worry, you are not affected." I still sat and talked to him for about 20 minutes. We talked about my job and how he thought I did a good job. He told me that he was happy that he worked with me and my group. He said that it is a small valley and he would be back on his feet in no time. I should keep in touch with him. I am not worried about my boss finding another job.
It was another hour before John, a guy in my department found out that he was laid off. John had been working in the customer support group for a long time. He was the guy who trained me when I was first hired. I know that John was pissed about getting fired. After he found out, I could see the hurt in his eyes. He started to pack up his stuff.
The first round of layoffs where back in April. There were six guys and a manager in my department then. The April layoff cut my group down to three people. We also started to report to the director of customer support. In this layoff we have been cut to two people. Now we are going to report to a new director of customer support.
I have survived two rounds of layoffs. I am still going to be at work tomorrow. There is a part of me that is proud. I am a person that has been picked to stay around twice. I must be doing something right. I consider myself to be a hard worker. I take pride in my work and I want people to see me as the best at what I do.
It is hard to say these things after a layoff. It it hard to take pride in your accomplishments when other people have been let go. I did the "Rocky Dance" at one point in the afternoon. I felt like I was a survivor. I felt like I was going to hold my job together. This is a good feeling, but I feel wrong for having it.
One thing I can say is that I was not prepared to be laid off. I thought my company would go at least until after Christmas before laying people off. I thought that I would have a lot more time before I would have to face this. This makes me think. I do not think that another round is coming anytime soon. I still should start getting ready now. I should align my life so I can react better to being laid off.
For right now I have to see what direction my company moves. I have to see what the plans for the future are. I know that I have some part in those plans. I am also going to relax. Today was stressful enough for a week. I need to just get down to business. I need to get out of my head a little bit and stop thinking so much.
For the last couple of years November has been a big month for me. Things in my life seem to change in the fall. The things do not always happen in November, but they happen around November. Here is the list going back a few years.
2000 Moved to a new apartment 1999 Moved from Portland to San Jose 1998 Moved from Warminster to Portland 1997 My Brother Matthew passed away 1996 I lost my job at the Navy base and started working at Ficomp
I know there is a chance that something big might happen to me soon. Today we found out that the Vice President of my department resigned. This is the last thing in the world that I expected. There are a lot of different things that this might mean. I might be totally over reacting. I might be hitting right on the head. There is a vibe that my world might be changing. I just wonder how my life is going to change.
