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Comments by: YACCS

Welcome to Sad Salvation. Day by day by day by day ... this is my attempt to make sense of the world.



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Monday, May 27, 2002


Not Quite my Birthday

My friend Eric hosted a birthday party for my on Saturday. I had told him how I wanted to have a party, but I had no where to throw it. He said he and his wife would be happy to host it at their house. There is no way I could have a party at my apartment. It is barely big enough to have a guest over.

Eric and I worked out a deal. I would spring for the BBQ and Beer, he would provide the place and the vegetables. We started planning for the party over a month ago. I have been really excited the last couple of days. I just could not wait for the day to get here.

The party kicked off at two. I like afternoon parties. They seem to capture my mood. I hate waiting all day for a party to begin. I prefer to start in the afternoon and go all night. I am usually the person that other people need to kick out of a party. This is a good thing for my own party. You know I want to be there the whole time.

Most of the people that said they would show up, came to the party. I am a little upset that a couple people did not show. My big fear was that no one would show up. It would just be Eric and myself with a lot of beer to drink. I am thankful that fear did not come true.

It was great to get my friends together. The sad thing is that most of them are TiVo people. I know I spend most of my time there. I would still like a wider base of friends, but I just do not seem to get out there and meet people. There are a lot of my friends that I know on in a one-on-one context. I know that did not have the greatest time mixing. It was hard to spend time with them while a lot of things where going on.

It was a cool party. Most of the party consisted of eating, drinking, and talking. To me this is the making of a great party. I felt really odd opening the gifts in front of people. I felt kind of dumb showing everyone the gifts. I was trying to avoid that, but people insisted I open the gifts. It would have been easier if there was a cake.

Most of the people left around sundown. It was just a handful of us hard core people. At one point two of Eric's friends striped naked and got into the hot tub. I stood there and thought to myself, when will the the next time I have the change to get in a hot tub with two beautiful, naked, twenty-something women. Knowing that answers a little too well, I striped and got into the hot tub. While I was sitting in the hot tube with three other naked people Eric said, "now you really look like Californians. Just about everyone left at the party when naked hot tubbing at some point after that.

I had a great time at the party, but it did not feel like my birthday. I did not feel that sense that all of that we just for me. It is hard to explain. It did not feel like birthday parties from the past. It might be because I am no longer a kid. I am just about to turn 30. I am still really happy I had the party.

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Monday, April 08, 2002


Back To Work

It has been hard for me to get back to work. I thought that taking a vacation would re-energize me to be at the office. It has worked in the past. I would go away for a few days and I would be able to swallow all the work bull again. Just catching up from being on vacation seems to be enough sometimes.

This time it is just not cutting it. I am looking at the work in front of me and I want no part of it. It seems more senseless then usual. I am just reminded that I should be looking for a better job.

Since getting back from Portland, I keep on thinking about how close 30 is. I keep on thinking about how I am not ready to turn 30. I should be doing more important things with my life. I should have done more things by now.

On top of all this, I have to take a three day trip to Albuquerque this week. I wish it was not right on the heals of my trip to Portland. I feel that I am going to miss a lot of things going on around the office. I am not recovered from my vacation yet. I do not want to go, but I do not want to tell my boss that either. It looks like I am on my way to Albuquerque tomorrow.

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