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Saturday, October 26, 2002

Travel Notes 10/26/02

Weddings and Drinks

I have been drinking a lot over the last couple of days. That is what always happens when you go to weddings. I drank a lot last night at the rehearsal dinner. We went to an Italian restaurant where they leave the bottle of red wine on the table. The bottles kept coming and I kept emptying them.

Today at the wedding I was drinking Whiskey and coke all day. At one point the bartender started to pour doubles, even through I did not ask for them. I had a lot of them. People rarely so me without a drink in my had today. It worked well because everyone else was drinking also. I fit in nicely.

Gerry said that he did not notice my drinking. I did not appear drunk to him. I told him that is because I was BAL .10 drunk. This is legally drunk in most states. At that level I am in no condition to drive, I seem a little dumber then usual, but I do not embarrass myself. It is not that I have any greater tolerance for drinking, it is that I have been here before and I know how to handle myself. I know what those impulses lead to.

I have to be between BAL .15 to .20 before I really start to make an ass out of myself. It is somewhere above .20 that "Badload Rich" sticks his head out. He has not seen the light of day in a long time.

I have not drunk this much in a while. There is something about being on vacation that goes along with drinking. The two of them seem to be best friends.

Talking to Beth

I spent much of the rehearsal dinner and a good part of the wedding talking to Beth. I was trying to find some place where I could engage her. We talked a lot, but I only ever got so close. It was like she was trying to stay away from any real level of connection with me. I am not sure if this is true or not, but it felt that way.

I was matched up with Beth in the wedding party, but I did not get a chance to dance with her. She was dancing with Gerry. Beth is a hard person to figure out. There are parts of her personality that I think I can understand. I think I can see who she is, but I keep on missing things. She keeps on surprising me.

If I lived in San Diego, I would try to date Beth. I think I could strike something up there. I am not going to try since I live up here.

Wedding Highlights
The wedding started late
Loud planes flew over the wedding (it was outdoors)
It only rained a few drops.
The food was very good
There was a lot of dancing.
I dropped my paints once, but I think no one got a picture
Steve's Parents' friends were a bit rowdy.
For the most part everyone loved the wedding.
I missed one of the greatest comebacks in World Series history
Gerry, Beth, and I were the last people to leave.

- Rich, 6:16 PM |

Friday, October 25, 2002

Travel Notes 10/25/02

Married Friends

Steve and La have been dating for almost 6 years now. After all that time they are getting married. They are the last of the real hold outs. The last of my friends who have been dating a long time without being married. They are the last of the people who you know where going to get married, but you did not know when.

I have a couple of friends who are engaged. They are the type of people who are the marring type, people like Chris Cip and Don. I do not doubt they are going to carry out their plans. They are as good as married right now.

Of the people not already commited to be married, Jeremy is highest up on the list for getting married next. I do not need to remind you that Jeremy is in an open relationship and he has said several times recently that he will never get married. Even with those things, he is the closest to being married.

I look at my unmarried friends and I see the Island of Misfit Toys. It is true that a lot of them do not want to get married. I think the ones of us that are left are going to have a hard time finding someone. It is something that I just cannot get out of my head today.

- Rich, 2:39 PM |

Thursday, October 24, 2002

Travel Notes 10/24/02

Bachelor Party...Sort of

Yesterday was had Steve's Bachelor Party. Bachelor party might be too strong of a word for it. First we went to Hooters. We just had drinks and some dinner. The place was packed because the World Series game was on. Most of Steve's co-workers are rooting for the Angels. Steve is not the stripper, wild night on the town sort of guy. I am not surprised we did this.

I am not a really big fan Hooters (but they do have really good hot wings). It reminds me a little too much of a strip club. I have a problem with women who are being nice to me for money. The Hooters waitress seem to fall into this category. It one of those things that make me feel like a loser.

One of Steve's co-workers was rating the waitresses. He asked me which one I liked the best. There was our head waitress who was blonde and flighty, the leggy Brunet, the College Girl Redhead, the athletic blond and the Slick Jet Black woman. I told him that I liked our waitress. The had this little giggle. It was cute in the context of Hooters. It is not something I would like in the rest of the world.

Leaving the restaurant the College Girl Redhead needed a jump start. Everyone was looking around for jumper cables. If I lived down in San Diego I would have jumped on this opportunity. I would have given the girl a hand and my phone number. I was surprised more of the guys did not take the opportunity.

After Hooters we went to Dave & Busters. I guess that is a real geek bachelor party. We played video games for hours. We even played skee ball. There is something about Skee Ball that will always remind me of West Point Park and Jason Weston. It was the perfect bachelor party for Steve. I heard that La had a wild bachelorette party.

Staying with Gerry

I have taken over Gerry's dinning room for my computer. When I sit at my computer I want to write, but I spend too much time reading. There are too many web pages that I have fallen behind on. When I do write I am catching up on e-mail. I want to write more, but my focus is off. That is the problem about being on vacation. I hope that Gerry does not mind the take over of his dinning room.

I have been listening to the Halo Benders a lot this week. There is something about this band. Once I hear their songs, I cannot get them out of my head.

- Rich, 8:03 PM |

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

Travel notes 10/23/02

Memories about Airports

I think there are some great moments that have been lost since only ticketed passengers can be at airport gates. I am thinking about my some of favorite memories about being at airports. They are both things that could not happen now.

Kathy at PDX

When I lived in Portland my sister Kathy came to visit me. It was March and she was the first person to visit me. I had only been away for five months, but it seemed like a long time. I was doing pretty well, but I did not have that many friends. I did not have many people that I was I close to. I have been very close with my sister Kathy since I have been junior high school. She is 13 year older then me and that has always framed our relationship. I was just so happy to see someone who I had known for a long time. I could make in jokes and know the response I would get. It was like a little bit of home was coming out to me. Seeing her come off that airplane was a great thrill to me.

Kathy and Dot at PHL

My first visit home after moving to the West Coast was also one of those moments. I had just flown a red-eye from San Jose to Philadelphia, via Chicago. It was one of the worst flights I had ever been on. It was packed and bumpy. The woman in front of me was almost in my lap and my seat did not recline. I could not close my eyes because I felt so airsick. I just sat there with my hand over my eyes.

When I got off that plane I was so happy to see my sisters. It was like a big weight was being lifted off my back. If was my first sign that I was really home. I knew that I would be seeing a not more people. That moment just felt great. I knew I made to right choice to come back to Warminster for that Christmas.

Cathy and Jeremy at PHL

That trip I was only in Philadelphia for 56 total hours. I did not get to see everyone I wanted to see. I had a few hours to hang out with Cathy and Jeremy before I left. They drove me to the airport and waited for my flight with me. The airport was really empty and it was just the three of us hanging out. We took pictures with my digital camera. It was silly and meaningless and I would have not given that time up for anything in the world. There is part of me that I will always think of our friendship in those moments. It was great fun just doing nothing.

For the foreseeable future I will not have those moments anymore. There is a little sadness there.

Vacation Timing

Most of the time I put my vacations off until I really need one. I press myself until I need to leave town. Part of this has to do with our current economic climate. I have tried to keep a one month cushion of vacation time. That extra money would mean something if I got laid off. I also want to save my vacation time for a long trip.

This vacation does not have that feel. My last couple of days at work were not spent thinking about leaving town. I was not trying to get through those days before totally shutting off like most vacations. Instead I was thinking about all the projects that I wanted to finish before I left. I was thinking that I was going to miss important meetings while I was away. I almost wished that my vacation was coming at a different time.

This happened because the vacation was not on my timetable. I was on vacation last in early August. I usually put more time in-between vacations. I wanted to be around awhile for the wedding, that is why I extended my time down there. I could have gone down just for the wedding. I knew that Steve and La are happy I am around for more of the activities. There are plans for every night I am in town. that makes it clear that this was a good choice.

Is it good to wait until I am burned out to take a vacation? Is it good to push as hard as I can and turn away just before something breaks? There are something very satisfying about those vacations. This vacation seems different. I also have a lot of things scheduled for this week. Most of my vacations I spend most of my time relaxing and I move at my own pace. This vacation is more about being places on time and following someone else's schedule. I wonder how all these ideas change the way I view my vacations in the future.

- Rich, 8:13 PM |

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

Travel Notes 10/22/02

Rules of the Air

Southwest made me purchase a second ticket. I can get it refunded if the fight does not get oversold. This is the last indignity that I needed. I heard about this on the radio. I will have to check this out for my fight home for New Years. I feel like raising hell with Southwest about this. I can see the point, but it is the risk I run. I have had plenty of flight where I have had to sit next to someone. I will have to cause some dust when I call them for a refund.

The guy at the counter was falling over himself not to offend me. It took him almost a full minute to tell me the problem. I would rather he be more matter of the fact about it. I could see how he would hurt some people's feelings more my trying to be too sensitive. I would rather he be bold about the idea. I would have some respect for that.

Rules of the Ground

Southwest has retired the colored boarding cards. I think I read about it before getting here today, but I did not realize what it meant. I did not have to stand in line to get a boarding pass. I got the boarding pass when I checked in at the airport. I think this is a lot better. It makes it easier for people like me that like to get the the airport really early. I did not have to wait around to get my ticket. It gives me more free time at the airport to do thinks like use my laptop.

TSA

The security at the San Jose Airport is not being run by the new Transportation Security Agency. It went very smoothly, but it did not seem very efficient. There seemed to be a lot of people just standing around. Three people doing the job of one person. I guess that is what happens when the government takes over.

I do not like the TSA uniforms. They look like rent-a-cop, mall security guard uniforms. They do not say "I am a security expert." They are more like, "I work at and airport and everyone here have epaulets." I would like something that says something stronger. I am not sure I want them to look like thugs, but I want to think people cannot get things past them.

Since the TSA is a new government agency, I wonder if it should have a Latin slogan or not. I think they should not. I know that Latin is a dead language, but not it is a really dead language. I am not sure how many public schools still teach it. I think the slogan should only be in english.

De-planing

I hate the term deplaining. It sounds like a made up word. There has to be a better word to use. It is not like getting off an airplane is so specific task that it needs its own word. It is just talking apart the language.

Seeing the difference

I am trying to look around the airport and see if I can see any differences in the landscape since September 11. I have to say that there are not all that much. The last time I flew to San Diego, Thanksgiving '99, there was a guy here with his son. they were just watching the airplanes takeoff and land. The kid must have been about 4 or 5. I am not going to see people like that around here. I am also not going to see lovers waiting for each other at the airport, a child seeing their grandmother for the first time, or the embrace of two friends who have truly waited too long to see each other again. These are all things I have seen in the past.

Top Five Airplane Songs

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Areoplane Over the Sea
Wilco - Dash 7
Peter, Paul, & Mary - Leaving on a Jet Plane
Seven Seconds - 99 Red Balloons
Pavement - Plane Down

- Rich, 11:28 PM |

Monday, October 21, 2002

Choosing friends over the Mosque

Yesterday I chose to go to E's house over going to the Mosque open house. I do not want people to think that I chose it because I love football. That is not it at all. Sports is just a social release for me. It is a way for me to interact with other people and the world.

I chose to go to E's house because I love hanging out there every Sunday morning. It has been since I left the Philadelphia area that I had a group of people that I hang out with regularly. I feel like E's group just excepts me. That is really important. If they were getting together on Sunday morning to watch Golf or Martha Stewart, I would still go.

A long time ago I decided that I should put friendships first in my life. It is those relationships that really mean something. I think my relationship with E and his crowd are on that level. I can see them as friends that I keep in touch with even if I leave this area. There is something special about that.

I was asked in the comment box: What is so wrong with filling the hole in your life with spirituality? You grew up very religious as i recall. You'll probably always have some latent need for ritual and substantive belief in your life.

Something about this idea scare me. I have seen other people do it in the past. It has worked for some of them, but most of them have cause more problems with their lives then they solved. I am afraid to become one of those people who thinks God is in control of everything and they are not reasonable for anything. That is not how I envision God. If I am lonely and I need to meet more people, it is bad for me to fill that hole with religion.

I feel that I do need to work on the spiritual aspects of my life. I have been ignoring them for a long time. I just do not know what is the right way to turn. I have some ideas about God, but I do not feel these ideas in my heart. There are aspects of lots or religion that make sense to me, but not all of any religion. On the other hand, I am not sure how much religion is supposed to make sense anyway.

Islam is an odd religion to me. There are parts of it that make total sense, but there are other parts that I do not agree with. I have been looking at it for a while, but I has always been staying a distance away from it. I am not sure it is good to separate women and men like I read Islam does. I am not sure Islam is religion that people practice at different levels.

What I want is a way to be more spiritual without it clobbering my life as a whole.

- Rich, 1:39 AM |

Sunday, October 20, 2002

Sunday Morning Decisions

It is Sunday morning and I have a choice to make. I could go to E's and watch football like most Sunday mornings or I could go to the open house at the local area Mosque. It is really a question of going to the Mosque or not. If I do not go, I will end up at E's house. I have been thinking about this for three days now and I still have not made up my mind.

For the past 20 months or I have had an interest in Islam. I have been reading websites about it. When every something comes on TV about Islam or Muslims I watch it. I have purchased a copy of the Qur'an, but I have not read it yet. I feel that I have a level of knowledge, but no experience. I know what much of the pat answers to questions are, but I am not sure how Muslims live their lives. I am not sure this will show me or not. I might just get more pat answers. I do know that I do not have a chance to just go to a mosque very often. This is the first open house that I have read about around here.

This choice leads me to a bigger question in my life, am I happy with my level of spirituality? Is it something I need more of in my life? My fear is that it is at the right level and other things are not but I do not realize it. I do not want to use spirituality to fill the other holes in my life. I have seen other people do this and it seems destructive. I am not sure they ever got what they were looking for. This is a problem since I am not sure what I am looking for.

The mosque and E's house are the same direction from my apartment. The decidion will not be final until I get to my destination. It is all up in the air until then. Who knows how it will turn out? I will let you know when I find out.

- Rich, 8:30 AM |

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