|
|
|
|
Current | Archives
|
Saturday, February 16, 2002
St. Valentine's Day follow up.
Jeremy posted a response to my State Of My Heart Address on his blog Raccoon. He told me that he wrote it after reading the State of My Heart Address. I know that he is referring to my weight when he talks about what should we change about ourselves to attract a woman. Jeremy thinks that I should loose weight if I want to find a woman to love me. I feel that If I lost weight for that reason, the woman would not know the real me. If I ever plumped up again, she would not be able to handle it.
I feel that I did not get to everything I was thinking when I wrote the State of My Heart Address. The hard part is describing the ideas that I did not get to. I know I left some of them out because my writing was better without them. They were ideas that did not seem to be coherent enough to make the paper. Other ideas seemed to be too whiny. It is hard to say how lonely you all without stepping into the realm of self pity.
There is one idea that I can write about now. It seems to me that my experence of love and relationship does not match what I see in the rest of the world. It is far from what I see in the media. It is also unlike what my friends experence. There seems to be a gultch between what I feel and the public expression of love. Jeremy said that he also experences this. I wonder if everyone experences it but cannot do anything about it.
- Rich,
11:56 AM
Looking for Sad Salvation
Someone out there found Sad Salvation by searching Google for " live in a studio." Sad Salvation comes up 334 on this search.
What words would you use to find Sad Salvation on Google?
- Rich,
2:17 AM
Misinformation
There is a chance that terrorist might use Teddy Bear Bombs. The whole story revolves around what a man bought at a Wal-mart. This almost sounds like a set up to me. Someone might buy these items just to spread a panic. It is psych-ops inside of our own country. It makes sense that terrorist, or anyone else that wants to cause chaos, would do this.
- Rich,
1:45 AM
Everything will kill you
It is not official, everything I enjoy is bad for my health. My goodness! Really, I need to get less sleep. The next thing they will find out is that laughing will kill people. Would you sleep less to lengthen your life? Labels: CNN, health, sleep
- Rich,
1:24 AM
Friday, February 15, 2002
Sad Salvation Comment Tool.
I have added a comment tool to Sad Salvation. It is nothing fancy. I am currently using YACCS. I would like to see what people think. I have not used the tool too much. I still want to see comments from people.
- Rich,
5:05 PM
Friday Five
1. What was the first thing you ever cooked? I do not remember. Beef Stew was the first thing I made for boy scouts.
2. What's your signature dish? Hamburgers on the Grill.
3. Ever had a cooking disaster? (tasted like crap, didn't work, etc.) Describe. One camping trip we made fish without getting most of the bones out. It was harsh.
4. If skill and money were no object, what would make for your dream meal? I have no desire to cook. If I was going to make a dream meal I am not sure what it would be.
5. What are you doing this weekend? Go to a party, be on call, use the Internet too much, and slack off with the rest of my time.
- Rich,
11:47 AM
Choice of Words
There is a web site that says it can tell which word the internet likes better. See who won between Sad and Salvation.
What two words did you check?
- Rich,
1:18 AM
Thursday, February 14, 2002
State of My Heart Address
For the first time I am putting the State Of My Heart Address on my web site. I know that at least one of the women that I write about will read this. I feel that I need to be honest when I write this. I apologies in advance if you are upset about what is written here. I cannot hold back. You can express your displeasure directly to me. This is the last St. Valentines of my 20’s. I have drifted through the past year like I have drifted through most of the last decade. Since last Valentines Day I have not had a date, I have not kissed a woman, I have not been romantically close to anyone. It has been a year without much to it. It is not that I am not interesting in finding a relationship. If I could find someone who was interested in me, I would try to explore that interest. Last spring there was a woman who would flirt with me all the time. I tried to figure out if she was flirting or just trying to be friendly. It took me a short time to find out that she was just trying to be friendly. I am always bad with these kinds of signs. I always tend to over read or under read things. It has been a long time since I have clearly known a woman likes me. There was another woman who I had a crush on for a long time. It was a distance crush because we worked together. I never want to make things odd at work. Just before she left the company (remember 2001, year of the layoff) I asked her if she would ever want to go on a date. She gave the quick and polite no. Later she send me a message breaking the Unspoken Language of Women and Men. I felt no loss when she rejected me. Maybe I saw that rejection clearly a long time before that and that is why it was a distance crush. I spent most of the past year thinking about the Unnamed Woman. For a long time I did not know what I wanted to tell her. Once I told her something, I waited to see her face to face. I saw her face to face and she did not share my feelings. It still burns me when I read about her man problems. I tell myself I should not feel that way about her, but it is a hard thing to stop. Part of me thinks she is afraid and she will never know the possibility. I am not sure how look I will feel and think this way. I will tell her when it stops. It is only a few months until I turn 30. It looks like I am headed there with no woman, no relationship in my life. I can easily see being here next year without having kissed a woman. I have not been close with a woman since I moved out west. I feel old and getting older. I have pasted the age when my parents meet and married. I have gone almost a decade without a relationship. The last woman who I went on more then a few dates with should be a nun by now, literally. It has been a very long time since I messed up a chance at a relationship. I do not know if I can find a woman who is even interested in me. It feels like I am getting close to a point of no return. I am not sure what will happen when I get to that point. I feel that I can stand up and say I am the loneliest many on the face of the earth. I know I am alone. Nothing has changed that in a long time. I know there are things about me that push women away. I am just looking for the woman who can look past those things. The problem is I have no idea where to look for this woman. I am not totally without hope. I might know a single woman or two. If not, there is more to my life then just love. I think about women all the time, but there are other things that consume my life also. Labels: 2002, love, self, St. Valentines Day, State of my Heart Address
- Rich,
12:03 AM
Wednesday, February 13, 2002
Crime and Reading
There is an article on Salon today about Police looking at bookstore records. Reading this entry makes me think that police and prosecutors have no ethics when it comes to solving crime. I am not talking about the letter of the law when it comes to solving crimes. I am talking about an ethical code when it comes to criminal investgation. Misleading a suspect to get a confession is not ethical. I think we need to demand a high ethical standard from our police.
- Rich,
3:12 PM
See You Again Project
I am turning 30 this year and I was thinking about all the people I have know in my life. They seem to roll in and out like the tide. Last weekend I ran into a woman who I had met before. Now I am reading here Live Journal everyday. Relationships always seem to happen like this. It gave an idea of a personal challenge.
Idea
Make a list of 100 people that you have know throughout your life. People that you have not seen in a while. People that you have a reasonable expectation of never seeing again. Look at that list again in a year, five years, ten years and twenty years. How many of those people have you seen again?
Rules
1. You had to be on a first name basis with them when you knew them.
2. You need to remember their first name now.
3. You had to know them for at least six months. (no one you met at a party once)
4. No more then ten people from any one place in your life (high school, college, job).
5. No one who you know has passed away.
6. No one you know was living in a foreign country.
- Rich,
12:04 AM
Tuesday, February 12, 2002
Mouse Fight
There is something about Adbusters that I love. We should fight a mouse.
I could write complex ideas of what I think of Adbusters. The ideas are heavy in both my mind and in my heart.
- Rich,
4:42 PM
Places you can find Sad Salvation
If you search for Netural Milk Hotel on Google, Sad Salvation is on the first page.
If you search for Belle & Sabastian on Yahoo, Sad Salvation is on the third page.
If you search for Sad Salvation on Google, I come up in the first four places.
- Rich,
3:56 PM
I know I am not a big fan of St. Valentine's Day, but some people take it a little far.
- Rich,
2:06 PM
Colin Powell and TiVo
- Rich,
1:49 PM
I know it if close to St. Valentines day and all, but there is something about this bear that is a little wrong.
I stole this idea directly from Meg at Not.So.Soft
- Rich,
1:36 PM
Monday, February 11, 2002
I have thought about chaning my name from time to time. I think some people take it a little too far when they do it. What would you change your name to? I think I would go with a Maximilian Cool.
Thanks to Brainsluice.com I stole this story from him.
- Rich,
4:39 PM
Sunday, February 10, 2002
Travel-Blogue - Day Tripping
I was thinking about taking a day trip this weekend, but it is not going to happen. I had a party to go to tonight and I am hanging out with a friend tomorrow. These are both events that I did not want to miss and I cannot move to another time. I am not sure now when I will get a chance to do a day trip. It might be a little while. Next weekend I am on call. I could do a roadtrip while on call, but I do not want to risk it. If I miss to many calls while on call, they might have us working weekends again. It might be two or four weeks before I get the change to hit the road for a day trip. I am thinking I want to drive down to Hearst Castle. It is one of those things I want to see while I am living in California. I have been told it is four hour drive from San Jose. That is about the drive for a good day trip. My family used to day trip to Washington DC all the time. Four hours is enough time to really hit the road, but not so long you having to stay overnight. I have not taken a day trip in a long time. The last real day trip I took was a trip too Mount St. Helen's with my sister Kathy. That was when I lived in Portland. We left at breakfast and got back for a late dinner. It makes me wish there was someone I could take with me to Hearst Castle. Labels: day trip, Hearst Castle, kathy, Mt. St. Helen, road trip, San Jose, self, travel, travelogue
- Rich,
1:41 AM
Travel-Blogue - Day Tripping
I was thinking about taking a day trip this weekend, but it is not going to happen. I had a party to go to tonight and I am hanging out with a friend tomorrow. These are both events that I did not want to miss and I cannot move to another time. I am not sure now when I will get a chance to do a day trip. It might be a little while. Next weekend I am on call. I could do a roadtrip while on call, but I do not want to risk it. If I miss to many calls while on call, they might have us working weekends again. It might be two or four weeks before I get the change to hit the road for a day trip.
I am thinking I want to drive down to Hearst Castle. It is one of those things I want to see while I am living in California. I have been told it is four hour drive from San Jose. That is about the drive for a good day trip. My family used to day trip to Washington DC all the time. Four hours is enough time to really hit the road, but not so long you having to stay overnight.
I have not taken a day trip in a long time. The last real day trip I took was a trip too Mount St. Helen's with my sister Kathy. That was when I lived in Portland. We left at breakfast and got back for a late dinner. It makes me wish there was someone I could take with me to Hearst Castle.
- Rich,
1:41 AM
Web logs
There have been articles about web logs in Time, PC Magazine, and Fortune. They are all talking about this new and growing web trend. The pro-journalist have all these ideas why this trend is popular. Sometimes I think they miss it. I thing blog are easy, fun, DYI, and what we been wanting from the web for a couple of years now. E-mail is still the killer app of the web. Many web logs are like e-mail to the world. I have an idea and I want to tell everyone about it. Instead of sending an e-mail to 20 people, I can just post it. I think the DYI aspect is important. I think people that might do a zine fine web logs to be a little easier to do. They are a lot better then web zines. There are a lot of web logs out there that I would never read. There are some that I come across that I cannot get enough of. There were cool personal pages in the past, but people did not update them enough. You can read most web logs a couple times a week and always get something new. There was a time in 2000 that I thought companies has really taken over the web. I thought that people where no longer interesting in content from other people. The Dot.com bust and Blog explosion makes me happy. It looks like people have an idea what they want from the web. I agree with people who want more personal content. Labels: blog, PC Magazine, Time Magazine
|
|
|
|
