As usual I am taking part of the fun provided by smattering.org.
1. What do you have your browser start page set to? I use five different browsers in my life. Each are set to something different, They are set to www.att.net, http://www.sadsalvation.com/, http://home.att.net/~earthdog7900/sadsalvation.html, My companies internal web site, and www.tivo.com.
2. What are your favorite news sites? I really do not like any of them. I use the radio for news. I use CNN, Yahoo, and Cnet.
3. Favorite search engine? google.
4. When did you first get online? 1995. I sold a collection of Magic the Gathering cards to buy a computer. Before that I had to beg my friends to let me online.
5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? Watch the Eagles v. Bears, see a movie, ride my bike, maybe watch the Rams v. Packers, maybe clean my apartment. It sounds like a great plan
I was listening to the U2 song New York off their new album. There is a line in the song about hitting an iceberg. I was only half listening to the song, but it made me think about the question above.
I am not sure it is a fair question because I am not sure I understand it myself. If something terribly bad happened to you, what parts of yourself would you want to save? What parts would you let go down with the ship. I can already here that they would want to keep all of themselves. Most people do not want to lose parts of their lives, identities or personalities. The people on the Titanic did not want to loose there love ones, but some things you cannot save everything.
I am not even sure that you can loose parts of yourself in this way. If you can I really do not think you can choose. I think when things this bad happen; you get changed in ways you cannot control. We do not get to see these things a head of time to get the lifeboats away. I just wonder what people would pick if they could. Bad events are more often like car crashes when boats hitting icebergs. It is luck and seat belts that decide what survives.
I think I would try to hang onto my joy in self-expression and my sense of humor. I think I could survive anything if I have those two things. I think I could rebuild a life with those two things alone. It is a strange idea to think about.
I have been fighting off a cold for the last couple of days. When I have a cold, I do not feel like doing anything. I just want to sit around my apartment and do nothing. I have gone to bed early twice this week. I have been trying shake off this cold. I have not been sick enough to take a sick day.
I wonder if I am tired because I feel sick or if I am sick because I feel tired. I am not really sure about this. I have been feeling rundown. I wonder if it is the after Christmas effect starting to really hit. There is always that lull between January and March. I wonder if that lull is making me vulnerable to being sick. It has been hard to defeat that lull. That is what I have to figure out.
Too often when I walk, all I care about is getting to my destination. Every once in a while, I have to remind myself to look around where I am walking. Walking should be a Zen experience. You should try to be in the moment. You should try to experience each and every step. It is when you walk like that you start to see the world around you. You start to see the wonder you are missing.
It feels strange, but I am just about the only person posting to Superkaratemonkey.com. I might have to rethink my whole plan for the site. For now I think I can post something every other day there. If I had the time, I could post a review just about everyday there. I think that every other day will have to work for now. I would like to see more people post there. I want to get people interested. It seems like a hard thing to do.
I am finding that it takes more time to write a review. I have to have some pretty good ideas before I start writing. It is not enough for me to pick a movie or a song and let the words flow. I need to be mapped out before I start. If I don't have a good idea before hand I seem to end up not writing.
My other frustration is my writing. I am not sure that I am always getting to the ideas in my head. I have an idea that I have something worth writing about. I am not sure that I am sharing that special thing I see. I feel that my writing is falling short in places. I do not know how to make it better.
I have decided to use my Live Journal site as a Dream Diary. I think it is a good way to use that site. Jeremy said that he is thinking about having a group of people use Live Journal sites to start a dream collective. I really like this idea. It gives me something meaningful to put on my Live Journal. I have been having a hard time putting anything meaningful there without keeping things off Sad Salvation.
I went to the San Jose International Auto Show on Sunday. It is one of the shows where the auto makers show off their models for the next model year. They are trying to hype the cars, get people interested in them. There was only one concept car, the Ford Forty-Nine. It is a cross between the bat-mobile and an old Lincoln. It would be cool if it actually got into production.
I walked around the auto show for a while. I could tell there were a lot of people that were looking at cars they could never afford in real life. I will admit that I sat in both the Mercedes and BMW convertibles. I stopped there. I did not want to be the guy sitting in all the BMWs. They did not let people in the uber-expensive cars like Ferrari and Rolls Royce.
I tried to sit in all the cars that I might buy the next time I am looking for a car. I have three main criteria, under $20,000, at least 30-MPG city, and I need to be about to get in without needing a shoehorn. I think that these things fit the way I few a car. I know that I want a car that is cheap to own. I also want a car that I do not have to worry about it being stolen. There are very few cars that fit all of these categories. The two cars that I liked the most are the VW New Beetle and the Saturn L100.
I am very divided when it comes to cars. There is part of me that really likes cars. I love to drive. I love being on the road. I love the freedom that my car gives me. I have been itching for months to take a good road trip.
There is another part of me that wants to get rid of my car. I want to never make a car payment again. I want to get out of the daily grind of the traffic jam. I want to be the person that asks other people for rides. I have friends that live without cars. There is part of me that is jealous of them.
I am not going to buy a new car anytime soon. I want to own my current car for at least another three years. I want to get every penny of value out of it. By the time I am looking to buy a car, the cars at the car show will be used lease returns. That is what I will most likely be buying anyway.
I just found an AOL Instant Message account that I set up a while ago. The sad thing is that I have no one on my buddy list. I have no one to IM with. If you want to IM me, my AIM ID is earthdog7900. Since I am getting DSL, I will be more likely to IM in a couple of weeks. I would like to have some buddies by then. Send me your AIM ID.
I was walking across the street to the supermarket when I saw a couple sitting in a car. I could tell they were in the middle of the break up conversation. They both had that tired look on their face. The look of not knowing what to say, but knowing there are things that are going unsaid. As I passed the car, I slowed down just a bit. I was trying to tell who was breaking up with whom. I could not tell from my outsiders P.O.V.
After I was finished shopping, the couple was still in the car. They both looked tired and worn down. I guess everyone looks that way when they are breaking up. It makes me think of the last relationship I had that ended with that kind of break. It New Year's Day 1990. It seems like such a long time ago. I am not sure I can remember all those feelings. I could see that the people in the car were having their hearts sink. After 1990 all of my relationship ended in non-conclusive ways.
